- Your hosts are Tony Schiavone & Jesse Ventura

- It's announced right off that Brian Pillman is out with an ankle injury, and therefore instead of doing anything sensible WCW has decided that Steve Regal will defend Pillman's half of the tag team title against the Horsemen in the first match.

- Opening match, WCW World tag team title: Steve Austin & Steven Regal v. Paul Roma & Arn Anderson. This is called "booking yourself into a corner." WCW taped footage of the Horsemen as champions, to begin in a couple of weeks after this match. Pillman injured himself, but they have to put the titles on the Horsemen. So they come up with the dumb idea of a Regal substitution. As good a match as can be expected. Sir William tries to nail Arn with the umbrella, but he ducks and Austin gets it, cradle, 3 count and new champions. And thus the saga of the Hollywood Blonds reaches its conclusion not with a bang, but with a whimper. Sigh. It always bothered me that a team as fixated with Hollywood lore and dramatics as the Blonds were never given the opportunity to go out in a blaze of glory. After rescuing the WCW tag division from life support in late 1992, and carrying it through 1993, you'd think WCW would have been a bit more creative in the match ending than simply "manager tries to interfere but it backfires". The Blonds should have went out like Butch and Sundance, fighting all the way in a wild chair-swinging brawl and escaping two-count after two-count until finally succumbing out of sheer exhaustion. But then since a *truly* talented team like the fucking Nasty Boys were already taped with the tag titles, they had to get the Blonds out of the way quietly, right? This is reason #19398 why I hate Eric Bischoff. **1/2

- As an aside, and a quick rant on the Disney tapings in general, is there anything more destructive to company morale than setting in stone the length of a title reign three months before it happens? Ric Flair knew *exactly* how long his run as NWA World champion would be, because the Disney tapings had him as champion at shows after Beach Blast but Rude as champion at shows after Fall Brawl. How humiliating is it for a team like Anderson and Roma to have to go out and try and put on a show for the fans when they know that it doesn't matter how much they improve or how over they are, because they're destined to lose the belts to the Nasty Boys at Fall Brawl either way? What incentive to work is there? How much confidence did it show in the Blonds when WCW taped six months of footage with two other teams holding the tag titles, while the Blonds were still the champions and presumably didn't see any serious challenges on the horizon? No wonder everyone in WCW dogged it in 1993 -- not only did you know that if you weren't on the precious Disney taping roster you wouldn't be getting a title, you also knew if you were one of the lucky few to win one, your reign was already predetermined! The only exception to this was Bagwell & Scorpio, who enjoyed a quickie run as tag champs in October, but of course the almighty Disney tapings dicatated that the Nasties be the champs again by the next episode of Worldwide, so that didn't last long. Again, I remind anyone else who doesn't know: WCW lost MILLIONS of dollars, into 7-digit figures, in 1993, and nearly went bankrupt DESPITE being owned by Ted Turner. It was run by Eric Bischoff then, and history says that WCW will self-destruct eventually. It always does. Anyway, back to the show...

- Bobby Eaton v. 2 Cold Scorpio. Eaton is subbing for Regal, who was subbing for Pillman in the last match. They're just kinda kickin' back here, chillin' with the homeboys and letting it ride. Bobby's career is in the nadir by this point. And considering that he's still active today, that's a scary thought. Fairly quick as Scorpio finishes a nothing match with the Firebird/450 splash. *1/2

- Mask v. Guitar, Johnny B. Badd v. Maxx Payne. Badd was "scarred" by an errant blast of confetti from his own Baddblaster (oh, the irony!) and so he's been wearing a mask that practically screams "Bathhouse special". Better match here than at Beach Blast, with much more actual wrestling. Payne should teach Brian Lee how to do an elbow drop, his are wicked. Quick and pointless here, as Maxx misses the splash and Badd pins him to win the guitar. **1/2

- A Flair For The Gold as Sting and Davey Boy announce their mystery partner for Fall Brawl 93. Wait for it...wait for it....SHOCKMASTER! Oops, he tripped and fell through the set. That's gotta hurt. He does manage to get his sequined Stormtrooper helmet back on in time for the Ole Anderson Black Scorpion voice-over to start. By now everyone can tell it's Fred "Tugboat/Typhoon" Ottman.

- Now, I've said many times that WCW hit their lowest point ever in 1993, but I've never nailed it down exactly until now. The above segment was the lowest point in WCW's short history, period. Everything from then on was up. A disappointing mystery partner (FUCKING TYPHOON???) who actually tripped and fell through the set? Is this life or just life imitating some B-movie comedy with the two Coreys? Who wants to buy *that* PPV? How do you then PUSH said Shockmaster after watching him make a fool of himself on live, national TV? Well, it's WCW, so you just pretend it didn't happen and hope for the best. I think some guy in Oregon might have bought Fall Brawl by mistake, but other than that the buyrate was just about zero. Remember, people, the same Bischoff who everyone calls a genius so freely these days is the guy who was running WCW for most of 1993.

- TV Title match, Paul Orndorff v. Ricky Steamboat. Speaking of title changes that were etched in stone months previous, here's another one. Tony & Jesse are laughing so hard they're almost unable to continue at this point. Crowd with loud "Paula" chants, the 1993 equivalent of "Rocky sucks!" This is definite old-school but Orndorff is no Ric Flair. There seems to be some lighting problems to go with the fat-guys-who-trip-through-the-set problems, as the arena looks like Hardcore Heaven for most of this match. Steamboat pulls out a SWANK plancha 3 years before it was en vogue. Orndorff goes for the piledriver, which triggers a nice series of stuff. Finish comes as Orndorff tries a bodyslam, and Steamboat does his pet reversal into a small package for the pin and title. *** Hey, he actually coaxed a good outing from Orndorff.

- Sting & Ric Flair v. The Colossal Kongs. Why, why, why??? What is the fixation with fat talentless lunks tonight? Sting slams both fat-assed losers 10 seconds in. Total, and I mean TOTAL squash as Sting hits fat-ass #1 with Stinger splash and top rope splash for good measure to end it about 60 seconds in, if that. Flair did nothing. DUD in the truest sense of the word.

- Rick Rude & The Equalizer v. Dustin Rhodes & A Mystery Partner. Hope this one doesn't fall through the set. And, joy of joys, rapture of raptures, it's the not-so-triumphant return of the Road Warriors. Just Hawk, with Animal on the outside for moral support in case anyone tries to get away with any of that WRESTLING stuff. None of that here. The horrible Rhodes-Rude feud was STILL dragging on at this point. This match stinks, sucks, swallows, bites, blows and then goes all the way around to stinks again. The Equalizer v. Hawk portions were particularly entrancing, as you can imagine. When you're looking forward to Dustin and Rude getting it on to PICK UP THE PACE, it's time to nip off to the woodshed and shoot yourself. The faces even do their own sloppy version of the Doomsday Device, and Rude doesn't even bother to sell. Hurrah for him! Zenon chimes in, nothing that this match "sucks big greasy penises". Equalizer may be not only the worst wrestler ever, he may also be the worst athlete of any kind, ever. I don't think I'm exaggerating here. Oops, wait, forgot about Hawk and Animal, never mind. I've had bowel movements that were a better emotional experience than this match, and left me feeling more spirtually enriched. Rhodes mercifully pins Equalizer to end it, praise the lord. -**

- WCW World title match: Vader v. British Bulldog. Ah, like a breath of fresh air after being locked in an outhouse with Paul Bearer for two weeks, it's Vader to save the show again. The DQ rule is waived here. Brawl outside to start. This match is a veritable Vader primer, as he was in his absolute prime back then. Back and forth, pretty quick match. Vader starts dominating and hits the top rope splash, but only gets two. Bit of a slow spot as Vader uses a chinlock, but it's temporary. Pump splash for two. Smith powerslams Vader, but the ref gets bumped. Smith tries a suplex, but Race comes in and clips him, allowing Vader to fall on top to retain the title. ***1/2 Then, Cactus Jack suddenly storms out of nowhere to attack Vader as...we're outta time.

The Bottom Line:

Had WCW done the reasonably expected thing and DIED like the AWF after this mess, Clash 24 would have been remembered as the iceburg that sunk Titanic, I think. Or maybe Beach Blast would have. Or any of the other stupid mistakes that WCW made in 93 before finally giving up and signing Hulk Hogan. I for one have always found it eerily fascinating to watch a huge organization like WCW flush itself down the toilet the way it tried to do in '93. The fall of the empire is always much more fun to watch than the rise.

Recommended, if only to watch how low WCW was capable of sinking.