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- I would be remiss if I didn't mention the Main Event
pre-game show that WCW used before the PPV. Much like Heat these days, WCW used to use
their Sunday afternoon show as a lead-in, and in this case we got a "classic"
angle, as Hogan (with 10 or 12 planted actors posing as fans) was doing an interview with
Mean Gene outside, sitting on his Harley. However, that mean, nasty, stinking,
wart-infested Giant drove up in his monster truck and (with the help of about 5 different
camera angles) crushed the innocent motorcycle. Then he leaned out of the window and made
faces at Hogan like a crack junkie coming off a particularly bad batch. Anyway, later on
the show is somewhat redeemed by a pretty good debut for Eddy Guerrero as he faces Alex
Wright. - Live from Asheville, North Carolina.
What, did they want to be Nashville but discovered that the name was already taken?
- Your hosts are Tony Skee-a-vone and Bobby Heenan.
- Opening match: Brian Pillman v. Johnny B. Badd. Badd's
character seems have to gotten all the gay out of his system by this point, with the
exception of the Badd Blaster, the confetti-shooting gun he still brought with him from
time to time. Winner of this thing gets a shot at Sting's US title at some indeterminate
point in the future. Pillman gets a small heel pop, despite his sickeningly babyface
"California Brian" gimmick that he was stuck with at the time. Badd was
literally improving daily by this point. Longish feeling out period to start with not much
going on. Headlock, armdrag, etc. Match gets moving about 8 minutes in, as Badd works
Pillman's leg, causing a shoving match to erupt and Pillman to dust off the old heel
persona from the Hollywood Blonds days. Pillman starts running like a coward and cheating,
drawing mad heel heat from the crowd. Badd gets the slingshot legdrop for two. We get the
double KO spot, with Pillman recovering first and hitting a cheap headbutt to take Badd
down and get more heel heat. I'm in awe of Pillman's in-ring heel turn as we watch. Badd
gets tossed, but suplexes Pillman to the floor and hits a pescado (dive over the top to
the floor). Nice. Back in the ring, and Badd tries to come off the top, but gets
dropkicked in mid-air by Pillman. Badd gets a powerbomb for two. Badd counters Pillman's
finisher, the tornado DDT, by shoving him to the mat for two. Pillman with a russian
legsweep into an armlock submission move as time winds down. Badd escapes and hits the
TOOTY FRUITY PUNCH OF DOOM for two. Pillman hits Air Pillman for two, then a backslide for
two as time expires at 20:00. We need a #1 contender, though, so it's overtime.
They fight to the floor, then back in as both miss a
dropkick. Pillman gets a sleeper, reversed by Badd, which is one of my least favorite
moves in wrestling, next to the Indian deathlock when performed by anyone not from Japan.
Pillman goes for a superplex, but Badd pushes him off and sunset flips him off the top for
two. Badd tries a powerbomb (like earlier in the match) but it's reversed to a rana for
two by Pillman. The psychology here is positively All Japan-ish. Pillman with a crucifix,
countered into a fallaway slam by Badd for two. Badd hits the top rope rana for two. He
tries again, but Pillman reverses to the tornado DDT, this time hitting it for two.
Pillman goes to the top, but he's knocked off and to the steel railing where he hits his
jaw. He does that spot all the time, and it always looks great. Badd nails the somersault
plancha for good measure. Back in, but when Badd tries the slingshot legdrop again,
Pillman counters and it misses. I'm really digging the psychology here. Pillman tosses
Badd and hits a tope suicida, which is really amazing considering the shape his body was
in at the time. He goes for a springboard dropkick, but misses and crotches himself on the
top rope. They criss-cross and Pillman tries a cross-body, but Badd uses his weight
advantage to fall on top of Pillman for the pin at 29:57. Just a spectacular match.
****1/4
- Cobra v. Sgt. Craig Pittman. And away down the other
end of the spectrum we go. This would be the sort of blowoff for the Pittman-Cobra feud,
which was like the GI Joe equivalent of Blood Runs Cold. Cobra, oddly enough, would go on
to respectability as nWo Sting. Pittman's only worthwhile contribution to wrestling was a
quote on Nitro late in 1995..."The beatings will continue until morale
improves". I LOVE that quote. Anyway, one of Pittman's underlings (Prince Iaukea,
oddly enough, dressed in fatigues) comes out to run interference before the match starts,
allowing Pittman to repel from the ceiling and beat Cobra with a cross-armbreaker in less
than a minute. DUD And that was that.
- Video package of another one I forgot about for Netcop
Busts: Paul Orndorff hires motivational speaker Gary Spivey to boost his self-confidence.
Gary, for those of you not familiar with this...interesting...angle, has a fake-looking
wig that looks to have been ripped right off a live sheep. This angle was so lame that
Orndorff retired soon after.
- TV title match: Rent-a-gade v. DDP. David Flair has
nothing on Renegade, a sort-of Ultimate Warrior lookalike who was brought into WCW in
early 1995 as Hulk Hogan's "ultimate suprise" in order to trick the rubes into
thinking Jim Hellwig had signed with WCW. To say it backfired for WCW is like saying World
War II went pretty badly for Japan. The fans didn't buy into him from the beginning, so
what did WCW do? Drop it and move on? HELL NO! They put him over Arn Anderson cleanly at
Great American Bash 95 for the TV title, of course. If you can't see the logic, you're
just not a big enough WCW fan. You can't BUY genius like that, kids. The fans got more and
more tired of Renegade, and the WWF decided to file a lawsuit preventing him from using
the Warrior's mannerisms, just in case WCW fans happened to be total retards who couldn't
tell the difference themselves. The result was this match, as the time had come for the
Great Renegade Experiment to end after 7 months of excrutiating matches and bad
interviews. DDP was in full trailer park trash mode, having just been rescued from poverty
by the mysterious benefactor (who never was named), and then won 13 million dollars after
swindling Kimberly out of her bingo winnings.
YOU THINK I CAN MAKE ANGLES LIKE THIS UP?
DDP has his hired goon Maxx Muscle (don't ask, I don't
know where he is now) in his corner. Renegade no-sells everything from DDP to start.
Renegade misses a move and clotheslines himself on the top rope, giving DDP the advantage.
He gets a few two counts, but the crowd is totally out of this one. Renegade makes the
comeback, hitting two sloppy clotheslines and the HANDSPRING ELBOW OF DEATH! It's pretty
sad when the guy in question is the last one to realize what a joke he is. Splash off the
top gets two, which was a dead giveaway that the Renegade's reign was over, because his
finisher was now dead. DDP tries a VERY telegraphed Diamond Cutter, but Renegade escapes.
One of the best aspects of DDP's improvement was his ability to literally hit the Diamond
Cutter out of nowhere. Maxx jumps on the apron and collides with DDP, but instead of
capitalizing like a good babyface should, he goes after Maxx, and walks into a Diamond
Cutter with an assist from Maxx Muscle to give DDP his first title at 7:53. Sadly,
Renegade's career spiralled downhill from there so fast that he ended up taking his own
life earlier this year. DDP meanwhile, possessed of equal talent but with better backstage
connections, has won every title in WCW twice and has a place as a booker. That's why
politics sucks. **
- WCW World tag team title: Bunkhouse Buck & Dick
Slater v. Harlem Heat. Stevie Ray makes sure to inform us that it is, indeed, "on
like neckbone", as he makes his way past the camera. Thanks, I was worried there. But
what about the chickenwing on a string? This match, meanwhile, is the result of a
convoluted series of title changes between Slamboree 95 and here, with a couple of them
being invented from nothing and edited together from previous matches. The end result was
Buck and Slater with the tag titles, although no firm evidence exists that the title
change that made them champs ever actually happened. It's WCW, don't ask, just shake your
head and move on. Wisdom from Bobby: "In order to beat Buck and Slater, you're going
to have to beat them". Tony has no answer for that one. Tony hypes the hotline
instead, noting that a prominant superstar may be defecting to another organization. In
other news, a prominant ball of gas may be rising in the morning, but you'll have to call
my hotline to find out. Seriously, the defecting star thing was like EVERY DAY in 1995. It
was more newsworthy when someone DIDN'T get out of their contract and switch promotions.
Poetry from Bobby: "Que sera sera/Whatever will be, will be/So meet me in my pickup,
sweetie/We're off to Bucksnort, Tennessee". Tony questions Bobby's sanity. I question
his sobriety. Subplot for the match: Sherri is trying to seduce Robert Parker, the manager
for the champs. See, Parker had been pursuing her, but she wasn't interested. Then she
took a fall to the floor and hit her head, suddenly realizing her love for him. Hey, can
you tell that I'm deliberately ignoring the match? You know, it's really hard to
appreciate how horribly untalented Stevie Ray was even back then unless you have the
hindsight of today's "matches" from him to compare with. Really unspeakably dull
heat segment on Booker T, so I won't speak of it. Instead, I'll note that I'm surprised
WCW hasn't hauled either Slater or Buck out of mothballs and put them with the Rednecks.
Or even Robert Parker as a mouthpiece for them. After what feels like six years, Stevie
Ray gets the hot tag, and a pier-six brawl erupts. So of course now that it's getting
good, the camera cuts to the OTHER ring, where Sherri is seducing Parker. The ref is
totally lost, so we get a run-in for good measure, as the Nasty Boys avenge Buck's
interference in their match earlier in the night by nailing him with an international
object and Booker T pins him to give the Heat their third tag titles at 17:00. Bad match,
dumb ending. 1/2* Parker gets dumped by Buck and Slater after the match, and he'd go on to
co-manage the Heat along with Sherri for about the next year or so.
- Ric Flair v. Arn Anderson. The resuscitation of the
Horsemen was one of the few things WCW did right in 1995. This particular match came about
because Flair was becoming more and more dependant on Anderson to help him win matches,
and it came to a head as Vader beat of them in a handicap match at the Clash preceding
this show, with Flair not pulling his weight. Anderson confronted him with years of
pent-up frustration at never getting a shot at Flair's title, and they decided to have
this match to get it out of their system. This was such a great storyline. They play
mind-games with each other to start, with Flair taking the heel role. They exchange
wristlocks, which is the worst thing you can do when wrestling Arn Anderson, because he
immediately goes after Flair's arm. Flair tries to take it to the mat but gets nowhere.
Arn works the armbar, so Flair reacts the best way he knows -- he chops him down. He
attacks the knee, drawing a big pop. Arn gets a high knee off the second rope, then goes
back to the arm. Tony and Bobby do a great job of selling the psychology and the history
of the Anderson's arm-breaking tactics. Arn actually pulls out a single-arm DDT, something
he learned from Bobby Eaton. They exchange shots in the corner, and AA ends up on the
floor. Flair comes off the top rope with a double-axehandle, then tosses Arn back in. AA
comes back, but a low blow turns the tide. Back outside the ring, as Flair takes a
backdrop on the floor, and retaliates with a suplex. Back in the ring for a delayed suplex
and more chops, for a two count. Arn comes back and goes for the DDT, but Flair grabs the
ropes to block. He flops for good measure. He goes to the top, but AA slams him off and
goes for that dreaded move, the Double Axehandle Off the Second Rope That Has Never Hit a
Single Person. Luckily for Ric, it misses. I get the feeling that Arn's had that one saved
up in him for so long that if he ever hit it, the poor recipiant would be dead. Flair gets
the figure-four, but Arn reverses. Flair escapes and tries agian, but gets cradled for
two. Now Pillman jumps onto the ring apron and talks smack to Flair, so Flair smacks him.
Pillman doesn't appreciate that, and kicks Flair in the head, allowing Arn to DDT his best
friend and pin him at 21:53 to the shock and/or delight of the crowd, depending on which
50% of the arena you asked at that moment. That should have effectively killed the
Horsemen for good, but bigger schemes were in the works at Halloween Havoc that year...
****
- Wargames: The Dungeon of Doom v. The Hulkamaniacs. The
angle to set this up is almost exactly, to the letter, the one currently running today for
WCW. Sting, Hogan, Luger and Savage are the faces, with Sting and Hogan having a match on
Nitro that's interrupted by the monster heels. Luger doesn't Hogan, Savage doesn't trust
Luger, blah blah blah. The Dungeon of Dumb is represented by Brutus "the Zodiac Booty
Disciple Barber Butcher Clipmaster with No Name Man" Beefcake, John "the Shark
Avalanche Earthquake Golga" Tenta, THE MONSTER MENG, and Kamala, who has no other
funny names, but is a really big load of crap even without them. If Hogan's team wins
(IF????), he gets five minutes with Kevin Sullivan. All the Hulkamaniacs are wearing
facepaint. Because it's war, you see. Sting starts out with Shark, and it's not very good.
Why? Because Shark is JUST TOO FAT. Shark is winded after two minutes and goes for the
bearhug. Shark actually tries a dive from one ring into the other, but gets hung up on the
top ropes. I'm surprised Tenta can still look at himself in the mirror in the morning.
Zodiac is next in, nothing happens worth mentioning. Savage saves Sting, and he
immediately goes after Zodiac in a "winner gets to be Hulk's lapdog for the day"
match. No winner seems evident. Savage's leg somehow ends up OUTSIDE the cage, where
Sullivan works on it. Kamala is in next. Nothing notable happens. Luger is up next, but he
and Savage don't trust each other and end up fighting. That allows Meng to come in and
clean house. Nothing much going on. Hogan is the last man in, throwing powder like a true
sportsman. More directionless kicking and punching until Hulk puts Zodiac into...wait for
it...A CHINLOCK (seriously, just a plain old rear chinlock, not even a proper camel
clutch) for the submission at 18:59. This was pathetic on so many levels I can't even
begin to start. *1/2 So now we get...
- Hulk Hogan v. Kevin Sullivan. Hogan beats on the
Taskmaster for a couple of minutes until the Giant (looking positively thin compared to
the Big Slow of today) jumps into the ring and does something to Hogan's neck that
incapacitates him. He's the son of Andre, you know. Hulkamaniacs make the save, end of
show.
The Bottom Line: This felt more like an episode of Nitro,
with a bunch of storylines being set up for Halloween Havoc rather than paying anything
off here. The Hogan-DOD crap would drag on...and on....and on...until Uncensored 96 when
Hogan would essentially beat the whole group and Ric Flair by himself in that ridiculous
cage match.
Still, two ****+ matches is nothing to sneeze at, even if
the rest sucks.
Mildly recommended. |