Yours hosts are some guy, another guy, and a third guy.

Opening match: Glacier and Ernest Miller v. The Faces of the Fear: I can't even be bothered to write a match report for this one. Everyone sucks, you know the routine. Meng pins Miller with the Tongan Death Grip.

TV Title squash: Saturn v. Disco Inferno: There's a new blond guy in Raven's flock who looks like an evil version of Glacier. Disco gets his now standard zero offense in and loses still more credibility, if that's possible. Saturn wins with his crappy looking finisher in a match that we already saw on Nitro and didn't care about then, either.

Yuji Nagata v. Ultimo Dragon: If Dragon wins he gets 5 minutes with Sonny Onoo. Why are they pushing Nagata? The crowd is dead silent for the 10 minutes this one lasts. I'm serious, I don't think there was one single high spot that they reacted to with any kind of gusto. I can't be bothered to care, either, because is a BORING match. Restholds galore, Dragon must be injured or something. A Dragon win is teased with the sleeper, but Yuji was on the ropes, and after a sloppy interference from Onoo, Nagata gets a sloppy looking pin. Ugly match, utterly pointless and NO ONE GIVES A SHIT ABOUT EITHER GUY.

World tag team title squash: Steiner Brothers v. Regal & Taylor. *This* is the payoff for Harlem Heat jobbing a couple of weeks ago? When did they even announce this match as happening? Everyone who gives the Brits a shot here raise their hand...I thought so. Steiners win a nothing match with the bulldog of the top rope to retain.

Raven v. Scotty "Aaaaaarrrr, matey" Riggs. Decent match from both guys, but then it's Raven we're talking about so what you saw here was pretty much his ceiling of ability these days. Why is WCW paying Scott Levy tons of money to fight Scotty Riggs on PPV? Didn't mdb lecture me a couple of months back about how he'd be fighting Randy Savage right about now? Riggs tries, but Raven makes more money so gets the pin after a terrible DDT. In between, he tells Riggs that he "feels his pain" and the usual stuff. (Van) Hammer carries Riggs out into the crowd along with the rest of the Flock after it's over. Tony mentions that Riggs is so badly hurt that he won't be in WW3. Well, that changes the whole complexion of the match. Raven's already got, like, 8 guys with him in his Flock, so why the big deal about converting Riggs of all people? Next match...

Steve MacMichael v. Bill Goldberg: Mongo brings out a big pipe, and we cut back to the dressing room to see Bill laid out, at the hands of Mongo. So Mongo challenges anyone, and rather than someone interesting Debra brings out Alex Wright, who is promptly squashed by Mongo. Talk about a token push, first he's TV and CW champion, and then he's jobbing to Mongo in nothing matches. How art the mighty have fallen...or not.

WCW Cruiserweight title match: Eddy Guerrero v. Rey Mysterio Jr. Eddy wins with the frog splash in a match only slightly more captivating than the one on Nitro last week. This division is going down the crapper faster than you can say "this division is going down the crapper." I suppose Dean Malenko will challenge Eddy at Starrcade, which just about exhausts all the combinations of interesting matches that are left without bringing the luchadores in. I'm not even sure if it was a good match or not, I've just lost all interest in watching these two fight. And wasn't Rey's mask supposed to be on the line or something?

WCW US title match (No dq): Curt Hennig v. Ric Flair: About the only match on the card with any kind of interesting storyline behind it, and it's between Old and Older. Neither guy is putting any effort at all into this one and it shows as they phone in all the usual stuff. Flair gets the biggest pop of the night by putting Hennig in the figure four after bashing a chair into Hennig's knee, but it's wasted as Hennig grabs his ever-present US title belt and whacks Flair in the head with it to get the pin. Note to WCW bookers: When a face gets betrayed like Flair did at Fall Brawl, he's supposed to come back and BEAT the heel in the blowoff match. I know it's a lot to ask, but I think it's a fair request...

Main Event: World War 3. Kevin Nash is not there, which a lot of people suspected because his knee is still screwed up. That didn't stop WCW from advertising him as being there, though. And Flair doesn't show either for some reason. The first 50 eliminations are utter nonsense as usual because it's impossible to keep track of anything, so we'll skip ahead to the last few guys. It's the nWo (Hall, Hennig, Vincent, Savage, Bagwell) against Luger, DDP, the Giant, a Steiner brother and a Harlem Heat brother. The Steiner and the Heat brother are knocked out quickly, and so is Vincent. Hennig and Luger knock each other out, and the Giant ousts Bagwell. Then he and DDP wallop Savage and toss him. Or rather roll him out UNDER the ropes. Hey, it's WCW, why not change the rules as we go along. So it's DDP and the Giant against Hall, and Hall takes the moment to do what he does best: Point to the dressing room like an idiot because he can't draw heat worth shit on his own. Out comes...Hulk Hogan? Huh? Then "Sting" drops down from the rafters, who is OBVIOUSLY Kevin Nash but the annoucers babble like morons about Sting betraying WCW again. Whatever, just hurry up and end this because we all know where it's going. Hogan and the Giant knock each other out, and Nash and Hall toss DDP out, giving Scott Hall the win.

I will bet anyone who cares to take me up on it one million dollars that Scott Hall will end up NOT being in the main event of Superbrawl.

After the match, the whole nWo comes out and beats up DDP, end of show.

There was absolutely dick all here that we needed to pay $27.95 to see. Out of 9 matches, we had already seen 4 on the previous PPV (Nagata-Dragon, Mongo-Wright, Eddy-Rey, Flair-Hennig), and 2 on Nitro not long before (Raven-Riggs, Saturn-Inferno). There is absolutely no excuse for repeating the same matches and making us pay for them again when you have a talent base as incredibly huge as WCW's is. What exactly was the purpose of this show, anyway? Eddy already beat Rey on Nitro. Raven already beat Riggs pretty conclusively on Nitro. Nagata beat Ultimo Dragon the last show. Flair has been stalking Hennig for months now, and *this* was the big payoff? He loses?

None of the major angles (Sting-Hogan, Zbysko-Hall, the fake belts, Nash-Giant, DDP-anyone) were advanced or even touched on. It just felt like a show where they said "Okay, we've got to have a PPV this month, so you, you, and you get out there."

To paraphrase Clueless, What-ever...

As always, I remain the net.cop...