by Bob Morris

"The heat is on…it's on the street.
Inside your head…on every beat.
And the beat's alive…from deep inside.
The pressure's high…just to stay alive.
'Cause the heat is on."

-- "The Heat Is On," Glenn Frey

Don't you just hate it when somebody has to go singing those songs that remind you about just how hot it gets outside these days? And boy, were they play those "heat reminder" songs like crazy during the Colorado Rockies game, not just the above song, but also "Heat Wave" and "Hot Hot Hot" and there were probably one or two others I didn't pay attention to…or tried not to. Don't get me wrong, I like that Glenn Frey, and the Eagles are my all-time favorite band, but I don't need to be reminded about how hot it is with all these songs they play at the games. They could have also thrown "Walking On Sunshine" and "Hot Child In The City" on top of that to make things even worse and drive me crazier.

But I'm getting on a rant, so let's go back to the Rockies game…I really did enjoy myself despite the heat. Had seats right behind home plate, and a foul ball was hit our way, but I couldn't find it in the sun, and it bounced away from where I was sitting anyway. I'll tell you, though, as far as I'm concerned, Todd Helton is the Chris Benoit of baseball…a guy who isn't flashy and may not get the attention others get, but boy, he sure knows how to work. Not only that, but he comes through when you need him to the most…Helton hit the game-winning home run in Monday's game, much like he did Saturday. Hey, who needs Bichette and Castilla…Helton's the man, baby.

Of course, that doesn't help the fact that Rockies' pitching is, for the most part, pretty lousy. Pedro Astacio is the best starter on the staff, and he didn't get anything going until late in the game. And not one of the pitchers could get Richard Hidalgo out, until Gabe White took the mound in the eighth inning. And then they pulled White for Jose Jimenez in the ninth, and he gave up two hits before getting the final out, when White had struck out three batters in a row. At least Brian Hunter was there to catch the fly ball to end the game and keep Jimenez from blowing it.

But that's not about wrestling, right? And you came here to read about wrestling, right? Fuck that…if other columnists can spend forever talking about anything but wrestling to start off their material, why can't I?

You know what's really disturbing…picking up a newspaper after you get back to your home from being gone for the weekend, then opening up said newspaper and finding dog shit inside it. I mean, when I grabbed my Monday paper, the dog poop was actually as if somebody had put it in the paper and rolled it up like that. Either somebody did it as a joke or for the hell of it (which makes me wonder if somebody has too much time, not to mention dog poop, on their hands) or if some dog crapped on the paper and the person delivering rolled it up without paying attention (which means the delivery guy better PAY THE FUCK ATTENTION next time).

Oh yeah…wrestling…OK, let's see here, I can take this previous discussion and use it to describe a wrestling topic…as in WCW booking is like dog poop rolled up inside a newspaper…

Never mind…we all knew WCW booking was crap to begin with, and I don't want to keep disturbing you with that image. So let me try this again…Vince Russo is like Bob Gebhard, in that he has heavy hitters on his team, but can't find pitchers worth a damn…

All right, maybe not. But seriously…I don't really feel up for talking a lot about what's wrong with Vince Russo. Scott Keith and Ryan O'Connor have already hashed out their complaints, not to mention what comes out of the mouths of CRZ, Jeremy Botter, and the entire Shooters staff, and for me to have to repeat everything they said is really unnecessary. Basically, all I can add to their comments is "what they said." Or you can read my Nitro reports, if you prefer.

Actually, I should say that Russo has the right idea with some things, but the way he's going about putting the ideas to work is all wrong. It's nice that he wants to get people to watch the shows, talk about them, give every wrestler a storyline, and keep people guessing as to what might happen next, but there are better ways to do that than (a) hotshotting the World title in every single defense, (b) giving wrestlers gimmicks that are an excuse to make references to marijuana, dick jokes, or are just plain silly to begin with, (c) make every nine out of 10 matches a two-minute quickie with a screwy ending, (d) jobbing out the wrestlers you are trying to build and then proclaiming "it's all about the storyline" as your excuse for how you are building them up, and (e) to add to that last subject, constantly opening your mouth without thinking about what you are saying.

For further reference, read "what they said" elsewhere on the Net…I'm sure you know where to find it.

Word has it that Tammy Sytch is in the WCW doghouse…you know, for all the people that talk about how she deserves another chance and all that, it would be a lot easier for me to do so if she would admit that what happened in the past was her fault and stop looking to pass the buck or just not talk about it.

I mean, Steven Regal had his problems with painkiller addiction and such, and it first cost him his job with WCW, then later a job with the WWF. Yet after he recovered and got his life back in track, he didn't blame either WCW or WWF for his problems, and took the blame himself. That's why WCW gave Regal another chance at working with the company, and that's why the WWF was willing to bring him in again after WCW released him. Not to mention the fact Regal is in better shape since getting his life back in control, and also was said to have a ***** match with Chris Benoit at the Brian Pillman Memorial Show. Think about what Regal has done with his life, and how he responds to the questions about what happened to him with painkillers, and compare it to Sytch, and you'll know why it's hard to have any sympathy for Tammy.

For those of you Herb Kunze detractors out there who bitch about how the guy can't enjoy wrestling anymore, he gave Judgment Day an "easy thumbs up." Who says the guy can't enjoy wrestling? Hell, he even has a sense of humor…after cracking a joke about Rock's offense, he notes just after he writes the thought down, that's when Rock pulled out La Magistral cradle in the Ironman match. Don't read too much into what Herb says, or for that matter, what anyone says (even me). Remember, everyone has a right to his or her opinion.

Seeing as how I didn't see either show Monday night, I don't have anything else to add. More from me next week if I feel like it.