By Shane Spear

The Simpsons are the best cartoon in history. I'm sorry, there's just no other way of putting it. Cartoons have had a long range of history, going back to the days of Hanna-Barbara and Warner Bros giving us many classics that are still aired today. Yogi Bear, The Flinstones, Bugs Bunny, Wile E. Coyote. They are not just a part of cartoon history, but they are a piece of Americana. In 1989, Matt Groening debut some character loosely based on his cartoon strip "Life in Hell." They created thirteen episodes for the FOX network, all being completed before the first one was aired. The Simpsons took off very quickly, as soon became a hit. Bart Simpson shirts were everywhere, and the show took in great ratings for the small(er) network. It's now twelve years later, and thanks to the technology of DVD, we can relive the thirteen episodes of the first season.

7G08: Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire Synopsis: This was the Christmas special for the Simpsons. When Bart gets a tattoo, Marge has to spend the family's present money to have it removed. Unfortunately, Homer's Xmas bonus doesn't come through, so he has to get a job as a mall Santa. After being screwed by the government out of most of his paycheque, Homer takes what little money he has to the dog track. On a whim, Homer bets on a loser dog with 99-1 odds. The dog, of course, finishes in last leaving Homer broke. That night, the dog's owner gets rid of him, and the dog comes to Homer who takes him home to the joy of the family. Rating: One of the true classics of the show. Also, look at Homer when he's shopping for Christmas trees. Aren't we all like that? A

7G02: Bart the Genius Synopsis: When Bart cheats on an intelligence test, he is whisked off to a genius school. Bart soon realizes that doesn't belong there, but doesn't want to fess up because Homer paid more attention to him. After mixing acids and bases in chem class, Bart creates an explosion, which causes him to confess and be put back into the regular school. Rating: The show really drags on after the first act, but you can see how good Homer was back then, before he became a dolt in recent years. Also, the Scrabble game is a must-see. B

7G03: Homer's Odyssey Synopsis: After yet another accident at work, Homer is fired from his job. After many unsuccessful tries to get a new job, he soon become a mental wreck. Homer tries to commit suicide, but is stopped by his family when they are almost run over by a car. From then on, Homer makes it his quest to make the town safe. Soon, Homer is the leader of safety in town and stands up to the power plant. To keep him quiet, Mr. Burns hires him back as a safety supervisor. Rating: Well, i didn't really like this episode, plus the suicide talk was a little TOO dark. But to each their own. C-

7G04: There's No Disgrace Like Home Synopsis: The power plant employees are invited to a picnic at Burns' mansion. At the picnic, his family acts like total idiots. Bart tries to show up Burns in the potato sack race, Lisa plays in the fountain, and Marge gets drunk off her ass. At home the next night, Homer decides that his family needs some help. Even though the family hates it, he pawns the TV and uses the money to sign up for some family counseling. Dr. Monroe's usual therapy doesn't work, so he places the Simpsons in electric chairs with t he ability to shock each other. A few minutes later, the power is out, all of his other patients run away, and Monroe gives up. He makes good on his "Double your money back guarantee" and the Simpsons buy a new TV. Review: It's kind of weird to see Marge as somewhat of a loafer, while seeing HOMER as the one who cares, but it was still funny anyway. Watch for the part where the family draws it's worst fears. A-

7G05: Bart the General Synopsis: Lisa bakes some cupcakes for her teachers, which are taken by a low-level bully. After threatening him, Bart finds himself being beat up by the BIG bully, Nelson. After a few beatings, Bart and his grandfather get some help from Herman, a one-arm military fanatic. Bart arranges an army of kids who hate Nelson to join him, and they attack the bully with water balloons until he is caught and tied up. To prevent him from killing Bart after being untied, Herman writes up a peace treaty for the kids, who share some cupcakes at the end of the episode. Review: I really was not a fan of this episode, but I do like Nelson. B-

7G06 Moaning Lisa Synopsis: Lisa is sad. Very, very sad. So she refuses to play dodge ball and get in trouble with her gym teacher. Marge tells Lisa to be herself, and Lisa meets Bleeding Gums Murphy, a fellow saxophone player. He give her some advice on file. Soon, Lisa is smiling again. Also, in the side story, Homer and Bart play video boxing. Review: I really don't like Lisa's part, so this episode is not one of the best for me. However, the video boxing segments are classic, as they are just like most of the old NES stuff. C

7G09: Call of the Simpsons Synopsis: The Simpsons get a really crappy motorhome for a woodsy vacation. After Homer (naturally) throws it over a cliff, the Simpsons are forced to fend for themselves in the forest. Homer is separated from the group, and is mistaken for bigfoot when he falls in a big pile of mud. Review: C'mon! I know he's bald, fat, and dumb. But BIGFOOT? Also, there was a bear story with Maggie that sort of bombed. C

7G07: The Tell-Tale Head Synopsis: Bart runs into a few bullies at a movie who are willing to accept him into the fold. After hanging out with them for a while, they ditch him because he defends Jebidiah Springfield, the town founder. After a pep talk with Homer, Bart is convinced that he can be cool by cutting the head of Jebidiah's statue downtown in the night. The next morning, the town is in a crisis due to the missing head. Bart meanwhile, can't tell the bullies because they are upset about the head too. With no other options, Bart shows Homer he took the head, and they are off to confess, but are chased by an angry mob. After telling the story of what happened, the town forgives them. Review: Another one of my favorites. Watch how Homer listens to the football game in church. Like he says, IT'S GOOOOOOD! A

7G11: Jacques To Be Wild (aka Life on the Fast Lane) Synopsis: Homer gets Marge a bowling ball for her birthday, hoping she'll give it right back to him. Instead, she takes up lessons out of spite. Her instructor, Jacques, comes onto her. Meanwhile, Homer is left with the kids and wondering what has happened to his marriage. Eventually, Marge comes to her senses and returns to Homer. Review: This was a pretty good episode, with some of my favorite quotes ever from The Simpsons. Albert Brooks does a great performance with improv as Jacques. "It's not quite breakfast, it's not quite lunch, but it comes with a slice of cantaloupe at the end." A-

7G10: Homer's Night Out Synopsis: Bart gets a tiny spy camera in the mail and catches his father dancing with a stripper at a bachelor party for a co-worker. The picture get duplicated and produced until about everybody in Springfield has a copy. Marge finds out and Homer gets kicked out of the house. Homer is later allowed to return, but has to show Bart that belly dancers are real people too, with real feelings. After this fails, Homer is caught in the middle of a Vegas style floor show, but tells the audience to respect the women. Marge, who of course is in the audience, sees his speech, and forgives him. Review: This is the inferior one of the back-to-back episodes with marriage problems. There really weren't too many funny parts, outside of Apu's first official part on the show. C-

7G13: The Crepes of Wrath Synopsis: After setting off a cherry bomb in school, Bart is "enrolled" in an exchange program. Bart is sent to France, while a young Albanian child is sent to live with the Simpsons. Bart finds life in France miserable, as he is sent to work by the two evil men who watch over him. The same people make wine with antifreeze in it. As they send Bart out one day to get more antifreeze, he finds he can speak fluent French. He gets a policemen to assist him in getting some help, and is a new hero in France for saving the wine. Meanwhile, the Albanian child turns out to be a spy who shows all the pictures he's made of the power plane to his home country. Review: A very funny episode as Homer manages to stick his head in all the spy pictures that the kid ends up taking. It's amazing how Homer is oblivious to everything going on. B

7G12: Krusty Gets Busted Synopsis: The Kwik-E-Mart is robbed by a man whom everybody, including Homer identifies as Krusty the Clown. The clown is soon arrested and his show is taken over by Sideshow Bob. Bob turns the show into a more intelligent show (which, surprisingly, the kids still like.) Bart enlists Lisa to help him find evidence to prove Krusty innocent. After finding some clues, they go to an episode of Sideshow Bob's show, where Bart realizes that Bob was the bandit. After proving his guilt, Bob is sent to jail, and Krusty is set free. Review: One of the best episodes of season one. It was nice to see Bart figure out something on his own, and Sideshow Bob's show was great. A

7G01: Some Enchanted Evening Synopsis: Homer and Marge go out for a night on the town. Meanwhile, they get a babysitter for the kids. Bart and Lisa see their babysitter on a "America's Most Wanted" type show. After they manage to finally tie up the babysitter, Homer and Marge come home. Homer unties the sitter, apologizes, and lets her leave with two bags of the Simpsons valuables before realizing that she was a crook. Review: Not that entertaining, but a saving point was when Homer tries to call the agency to get a sitter, and the Simpsons kids are on big posters on the wall to avoid. B-

The Extras - Commentary on every episode, with Matt himself on all but one. This is actually a very well done commentary, as they admit they haven't seen these shows in a while. They end up telling stories about some of the biggest gags on the episode, and how long it took. - Scripts to a few of the episodes are included on each disc. - "Good Evening Simpsons" is the original Simpsons skit. It was used as buffers before and after the commercials on the Tracy Ullman Show. - "The Art of the Simpsons" shows sketches of how the character of the show evolved from Matt's original idea. Also, there's some life in hell character as well. BONUS! - Albert Brooks outtakes. As I said before, I really liked his work as Jacques in the show, and it was funny to hear the actress playing Marge break down when Brooks ad-lib a line and fails. - "The Making of the Simpsons" is a short documentary about the show. Pretty good insight, but if you're fan enough to buy the set, you probably know everything they tell you. - Forgein Language clips. It's the Simpsons in French, Italian, Spanish, Japanese and Portuguese. - You get to see a little bit of the original version of "Some Enchanted Evening." This is the first work they've put out. You can also hear the commentary, which is everybody groaning about how pitiful the animation is in the rough footage. Hilarious. - As far as easter eggs go, they aren't too difficult to find. Just click on the pictures in the bonus section and you will find a special from ABCNews about the trouble that kids got into for Bart t-shirts. Rather funny now that you find word much worse than that nowadays.

Rating (on the whole set) 9/10. Good stuff. Walk, don't run to pick up this set so you can live like a King. A Damn Hell Ass King.