By "Net.cop" Scott Keith

Geez, I guess I've sold out again.

For those of who unfamiliar with me, I'm Scott Keith, writer and keeper of the list of Frequently Asked Questions about pro wrestling, as well as co-moderator for rec.sport.pro-wrestling.moderated, as well as resident wrestling historian on the RSPW groups via my "Retro Rants" and just a great guy overall.

But that's not why I'm here today, or why I'm writing this column.

I've often been accused of being anti-WCW. That's not true -- I only jumped on the WWF bandwagon around 1995, with the rise of Shawn Michaels. I stuck faithfully to the NWA and it's bastard child, WCW, for about as long as one human being could without going insane. It's not my fault if WCW has a penchant for screwing up everything they get their hands on.

Case in point, Ric Flair.

Let's just review what he's put up with in the name of being a company man, shall we?

- The year is 1985. Ole Anderson's failed first attempt at the company that would come to be known as WCW dies a horrible death and Jim Crockett is brought in by the NWA and given their full support to build a new WCW out of Georgia. Ric Flair remains the NWA World champion, and Dusty Rhodes is made booker. Immediately Rhodes goes about undermining Flair's title reign, by booking him to lose Honky Tonk Man type matches, where he would be beaten on by an inferior challenger and then have the Four Horsemen rush the ring to cause a DQ and save the title. Rhodes started pushing for Lex Luger to be World champion almost immediately upon signing him away from Florida, and it turned into a massive power struggle between the two that lasted three years, as Rhodes would book a Luger title victory and Flair would veto it at the last minute. Meanwhile, Flair is forced to job to Ronnie Garvin of all people because no one else would agree to return the favor to Flair at Starrcade 87. 1988 closes with Rhodes booking a finish at Starrcade 88 whereby Rick Steiner would win the World title in a massive upset. Flair almost walks out before higher-ups change the match to Flair v. Luger to keep Flair from walking out. Flair is not happy.

- The year is 1989. The NWA falls to pieces and WCW is bought out by Ted Turner, who appoints Jim Herd as the head honcho of WCW, who in turn knows nothing about wrestling. So he gives Flair carte blanche in an effort to keep the troops happy, which results in Dusty Rhodes leaving for the WWF in a huff. The result: A brilliant year, bringing us multiple **** matches between Flair and the returning Rick Steamboat. Then Terry Funk is brought in and battles Flair in a feud that would be named Feud of the Year by everyone who matters. Lex Luger is kept on the sidelines as a heel US champ and is extremely over and effective doing so. Sting is being groomed as the next champion, and Flair is happy to help him do so. Flair is happy.

- The year is 1990. Ole Anderson is inexplicably brought in as head booker and immediately flushes the promotion down the crapper. Sting injures himself and Luger is forced to turn babyface and fight Flair on major PPVs twice, being booked to win both times, but Flair vetos the decision, feeling it best to wait for Sting. Sting recovers and is given a decisive victory over Flair for the World title. Ole Anderson then comes up with the worst idea in the history of bad ideas: The Black Scorpion. Bad voiceovers and parlor tricks impress no one and Sting is unable to draw as champion as a result, having no opponents worth mentioning. WCW is losing buckets of money by the day, and in desperation they pull Flair from his mid-card position and stick him in the Black Scorpion suit at Starrcade 90 to try and salvage something of the storyline, with a promise to make him the World champion soon after. Flair agrees. Ole Anderson is fired, Flair is made champion, and now Dusty Rhodes is made booker again. Flair is not happy.

- The year is 1991. Executive Vice-President Jim Herd has a bug up his ass about Flair and refuses to believe that the company can continue to rest on his shoulders. Herd and Rhodes both want Lex Luger to carry the title, and Flair has very little bargaining power because his contract expires around the time that they want him to do the job to Luger. Herd plays hardball, offering him a massive pay cut and a reduced position in the company. Flair refuses. Herd fires him. Flair is righteously pissed and signs with the WWF almost immediately.

- The year is 1991-1993. Flair is never seen or mentioned on WCW TV, except for constant fan chants of "We Want Flair" which fall on deaf ears. Jim Herd is replaced by Bill Watts, who manages to drop the bottom line of WCW even lower and nearly bankrupts the company in the process. Watts is turfed and replaced with K. Allen Frey, who does marginally better. Flair is WWF World champion for most of 1992 and is very happy.

- The year is 1993. Flair's WWF contract expires and he faithfully returns to WCW, with grandiose promises of a return to greatness hanging over him. By mid-way through that year, Flair is wearing a worthless World title belt and feuding with Rick Rude over a maid. By the end of that year, he is scheduled to team with Rick Steamboat against the Nasty Boys at Starrcade. Sid Vicious is being groomed as the Next Big Thing, and it's Ric Who? around the office as they prepare to put him out to pasture, again. It doesn't work, as fate intervenes and Sid stabs Arn Anderson with a pair of scissors and never returns to WCW. The WCW execs go crawling back to Flair and promise him a long title reign as a babyface so he can retire in glory. Flair beats Vader for the title at Starrcade and defends it for the first half of 1994, preparing protege Steve Austin to take his place. Flair is happy.

- The year is 1994. Unable to accept a slow accent to respectability, WCW suits sign Hulk Hogan and immediately blow off six months of storyline by turning Flair heel to build to a quick Hogan title win. WCW mainstays Sting and Steve Austin are practically buried in the resulting Hogan love-fest. Flair loses to Hogan regularly and is made to look like a fool. Finally, at Halloween Havoc 94, the last match between Flair and Hogan is fought, with Flair losing and thus having to retire. The attention is quickly shifted from Flair's tragic loss to an attack by Brutus Beefcake and John Tenta, as Flair gets all of a minute to bask in his moment of retirement. Flair is not happy.

- The year is 1995. WCW wants to bring back Flair, so they have him go "crazy," coming out of the audience at the first Uncensored card in a dress, then being dragged around the ring by Hogan for a victory, despite the fact that Flair wasn't even wrestling in that match. He drops one more match to Hogan at Slamboree before Hogan decides to take time off to shoot a movie. As a result, Flair is allowed to reform the Four Horsemen, and ends up with the World title again, beating Randy Savage at Starrcade 95. Flair loses and regains the title by early 1996, and is once again on a roll. Flair is somewhat happy.

- The year is 1996. Hogan returns from hiatus and his friend The Giant is allowed to squash Flair and win the World title on a taped episode of Nitro. The Horsemen disintegrate, as Pillman leaves for the WWF and Benoit is stuck fighting Kevin Sullivan on a constant basis. The nWo angle quickly puts the spotlight back on Hulk, for good, as Flair is beat up by them on a regular basis. He is given the US title, but injures himself and isn't even on the card when Starrcade 96 rolls around. He is demoted even further down the pecking order upon returning. Flair is not happy.

- The year is 1997. Having done nothing of note for the year, Flair watches helplessly as best friend Arn Anderson's career ends with a back injury. A Horsemen changeover is scheduled for Nitro, as Arn retires and gives his spot to newcomer Curt Hennig. The next week, the nWo does a parody of that interview which Flair was unaware of. Flair is furious. At Fall Brawl, Hennig turns on the Horsemen and they are buried by the nWo. Flair is furious. WCW honcho Eric Bischoff calls a meeting where he states that Hogan and Savage are the only wrestlers in WCW that draw. Flair is present at that meeting. Flair is set to face Curt Hennig for the US title at Starrcade, but injuries prevent this and DDP wins the title instead. Flair is not even on the card. Reports of his unhappiness with his position surface and the WWF tries to fuel the fire by sucking up to Flair whenever possible. Still, Flair signs a letter of intent to stay with the company. Flair may or may not be happy.

- The year is 1998. Flair has a good issue with Bret Hart and faces him at Souled Out, but the match is suddenly moved below the formulaic Randy Savage v. Lex Luger match. The Hart feud is suddenly dropped and Flair is not used for weeks on end. Flair decides to take a night off to watch his son wrestle, and is accused of breaching his contract. Ironically, the storyline that had Ole Anderson fired from the Four Horsemen in 1987 was exactly the same circumstances. WCW is currently suing Flair, and it is unknown whether Flair will be allowed to continue his career at this point.

So after all the near-misses and impending-deaths of WCW that were averted by Flair, this is the treatment he gets? I'm not the biggest Flair fan anymore -- hell, I'd be okay if he just retired tomorrow, but really I don't think he warrants this kind of treatment. I don't think anyone does. Except maybe Hulk Hogan, but I'm sure he'll get his one of these days.

As a closing thought...

Parting Shot: If Eric Bischoff wrote mystery novels.

...and so Inspector Hogan wandered anxiously amongst the roster of guests he had assembled. They shifted equally anxiously in their seats as they awaited his announcement on who the murderer was.

"It was quite simple, really." Hogan said calmly, his voice masking the nervousness that his body gave away. "If one knows the history of this hotel, and the family lineage of the guests, it is an elementary matter to determine that, obviously, the only possible killer was..."

But the Inspector was cut off as 5 members of the Hotel World Order stormed the room and attacked him, leaving him laying on the floor, then spray-paining "hWo" on his back.

Suddenly, the mysterious figure known only as "Sting" drops down from the chandelier, armed with a baseball bat, ready to strike! He points to the murderer, who is none other than...

[publisher's note: We're out of pages for this week, but be sure to buy our Saturday edition.]

The End.