By Scott Keith

- Okay, so always on the lookout for an easy-to-write column idea, I've decided to give into the strange number of people who want me to run with this idea of doing one these "All-time card" things. The rules are simple but make it incredibly difficult: You pick one match from each Wrestlemania to represent it, and no one can work more than once. Also, like in a regular card, each title will only be defended once.

Wrestlemania: Hulk Hogan & Mr. T v. Roddy Piper & Paul Orndorff. Well, Hogan and Piper had to get in there SOMEHOW, so it might as well be in the opener so we can get them out of the way quickly. A suprisingly decent match with a ton of heat, this was the one that sold the first show and kicked off the whole tradition, and PPV market. From my review…

- Main Event: Mr. T & Hulk Hogan v. Roddy Piper & Paul Orndorff. Billy Martin is the guest ring announcer, Liberace is the guest time keeper, Muhammad Ali is the guest referee. Patterson is the second ref. FIFTEEN YEARS LATER, Martin is dead, Liberace is dead, Andre is dead, Studd is dead, JYD is dead, Ali is a vegetable, Orndorff is retired, Steamboat is retired, Santana is retired, Valentine is retired, the ladies are persona non grata, Cyndi Lauper is the punchline to several 80s jokes, Windham, Rotundo and Beefcake are considered over-the-hill, wrestling has changed irrevocably and forever...and Piper is still fighting Hogan for the World title. This is why I hate WCW so much, because no one has any sense of fucking perspective. Anyway, Liberace rings a little bell to start the match. Geez, and people were SURPRISED that this guy was gay? Piper and T start out, and Mr. T actually shows some amateur wrestling technique, which pretty much puts him one up on his partner. T with a fireman's carry takedown on Piper, which triggers a big brawl right away. Stalling from the heels and then we're back in as the faces beat the living snot out of Piper. Mr. T looks surprisingly not sucky here. WCW take note. Piper does a dramatic oversell of the big boot, falling out of the ring, then suckering Hogan out after him, which allows him to bash a chair over his head to take control. Ah, those were the days. Heat here is INCREDIBLE. Hogan takes the DOUBLE ATOMIC DROP OF DEATH! Hogan gets beat up for a bit, but Orndorff misses the flying kneedrop and Hogan makes the hot tag to Mr. T. Doesn't last long as Orndorff smothers T right away. Hogan gets a semi-hot tag in short order and the requisite pier-six breaks out with Jimmy Snuka fighting Bob Orton. But Orton's interference backfires and Orndorff gets decked with the LOADED CAST OF HIDEOUS DEATH and pinned by Hogan, with no legdrop. Hm. Well, as celebrity matches go this lay somewhere in between Jay Leno and Lawrence Taylor. **1/4 Piper and Orton abandon Orndorff to the wolves, and Hogan is nice enough to let him go in peace. This would lead to Hogan and Orndorff forming a tag team, which would lead to that team self-destructing because Hogan is a jerk.

Wrestlemania 2: Women's title: Fabulous Moolah v. Velvet MacIntyre. Well, sure, it's a one-minute squash, but everyone else I wanted to use from this show was previously occupied later, and at least this way the Women's title is on there in some form. This match had no significance, so if you're looking for other interesting tidbit, forget it. From my review…

- WWF Women's title: Fabulous Moolah v. Velvet MacIntyre. This lasts about a minute, with Velvet missing something off the top rope and Moolah getting the pin. DUD

Wrestlemania III: Killer Bees v. Sheik & Volkoff. Well, look at it this way: I wanted to use Savage/Steamboat, but I needed Savage for later and the I-C title for later. Then it was Adonis/Piper, but Piper's in the first match. Then it was the Harts/Davis v. Bulldogs/Santana six-man, but I needed Tito for later and Bret for later. So by default, we've got this barn-burner, which is at least a pretty decent little match. From my review…

- The Killer Bees v. Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff. Total throwaway match. Jim Duggan breaks up the singing of the Russian national anthem and the announces that he can't sing it because America is the land of the free. Can't argue with that logic, folks. Bees gets attacked by the heels but take over with their usual on the Sheik. Some nifty double-teaming from the Bees, but Sheik gets the Camel Clutch on Brunzell in short order, but Jim Duggan runs in with the 2x4 for the DQ. Surprisingly good while it lasted, however. **3/4

Wrestlemania IV: Tag team title: Strike Force v. Demolition. This is actually the match that served as the lynchpin for the entire column. I started with the assumption that I wanted this one as my tag title match and built from there. It's the only real worthwhile choice from Wrestlemania IV, it starts the Demolition era, and the pretty boy blowjob team gets their ass kicked. What more could you want? From my review…

- WWF World tag team title match: Strike Force v. Demolition. In my all time markout moment list, this ranks about #4 or 5. Demolition would be over so HUGE if they were around today, it would be scary. They could do garbage matches out the wazoo and never have to get into the ring. Strike Force gets no pop. Smash kicks Martel's ass and the crowd loves it. Pier-six breaks out quickly and Strike Force gains control. The crowd isn't impressed. Santana, the designated punching bag, gets caught in a bearhug by Smash, which leads to Ax clotheslining him from the apron. Good spot. A nice powerslam gets two. The crowd obviously wants to cheer for the Demos but doesn't feel comfortable doing so because they're the heels. That would never be a problem today. Well, unless you count the Rock and his schizophrenic relationship with the fans. Santana plays Ricardo Morton and gets hammered, but hits the Flying Jalapeno and hot tags Martel. He takes out both guys and applies the Boston Crab to Smash, but Santana is keeping the referee occupied. Ax nails Martel with the cane and Smash rolls on top as the ref revives and counts three, to one of the biggest pops of the night. The Demos capture their first tag titles. ** Over on TBS, Tully and Arn were jobbing the NWA tag titles to Lex Luger and Barry Windham, and in one of those odd wrestling karma things, Demolition would go on to hold the titles for an astounding 18 months, before finally losing them to... Tully Blanchard and Arn Anderson.

Wrestlemania V: The Blue Blazer v. Curt Hennig. I wanted to get both of these guys in there somewhere, and it might as well be here, as they were given 6 minutes or so do a semi-competitive squash for Mr. P and turned it into a near-**** affair. That darned Curt. From my review…

- Curt Hennig v. The Blue Blazer. This was the debut of the style of tights Hennig still wears to this day. Blazer is NOT Koko B Ware *or* Mo *or* Jeff Jarrett here. Hennig pulls out the first MAN-SIZED bump, going over the top on a dropkick, then Blazer baseball slides him. Back in and Owen with some more wrestling sequences to keep control. Nasty spot as Owen goes for a Money Shot but lands, unsupported, right on Hennig's knees. Match is clipped to Owen getting a crucifix for two, but Hennig gets the Perfectplex for the win. Good match. ***1/2

Wrestlemania VI: Jake Roberts v. Ted Dibiase. Well, you've gotta get Dibiase in there somewhere, and ditto for Roberts, so it came down to either using this or burning up my World title match on Warrior-Hogan. I almost did, but I really wanted that World title for later. From my review…

- Million Dollar Belt match: Jake Roberts v. Ted Dibiase. Roberts stole the belt from Dibiase on Superstars, and Ted wants it back. Speaking of drug-snorting degenerates, these two were among the worst offenders in the early 90s. We all know about Jake's sob stories during his born-again Christian years, and Dibiase did the same circuit a couple of years ago, including a stop here in Edmonton where I got to meet him. He's a great guy, btw, much more believable and likeable than Roberts. It should be noted that Dibiase continues to help charities and stay clean and sober, while Roberts is probably sleeping in a cardboard box in downtown Wichita with a bottle of cheap hooch as his only companion as we speak. Anyway, libellous comments aside, this match was about 20 minutes live and clipped down to eight or so here, and they even had the audacity to cut out the Skydome doing the wave during a headlock. The clipped version is actually better than the live one, because they clipped out the restholds. We cut to Jake making the big comeback, but before he can hit the DDT Virgil pulls him out of the ring for the countout. Since the match is unsanctioned, Dibiase wins the title back. Roberts gets the DDT on Dibiase after the match. The clipped version of the match is about ***, actually, a pleasant surprise after the boring match I remembered from years ago. Roberts hands out Dibiase's money to the fans, which is really cool because each $100 bill is worth $150 up here. We never see Dibiase leave the ring, which becomes important for Akeem v. Bossman, which followed.

Wrestlemania VII: Undertaker v. Jimmy Snuka. Again, if I had my drothers I'd use Warrior-Savage, but I needed Savage for later, so I thought I might as well work the Undertaker in there, in the match that started his 9 year winning streak at Wrestlemania. From my review…

- Jimmy Snuka v. The Undertaker. Even in 91, the *Bong* got a good pop. Too bad it took another couple of years for them to figure out that turning out the lights made it even louder. This marks two years in a row that Snuka gets to be Designated Squash Victim. The flying clothesline gets a big pop. Undertaker manhandles Superfly with so little emotion that the fans don't know what to make of him. Snuka slingshots into the ring, and was supposed to be caught and tombstoned, but someone messes up and UT has to put him down, then pick him up and tombstone him again. Either way, it's an easy pin that actually gets a face pop for UT. DUD

Wrestlemania VIII: World title: Randy Savage v. Ric Flair. This is another lynchpin match, where I assumed from the start that I was putting the World title here with these guys. It's a great match that puts VIII into the "good" column for Wrestlemanias instead of the evil odd-numbered column. Oh, and that Flair guy's in it, too. From my review…

- WWF World title: Ric Flair v. Randy Savage. This is the blowoff for the "She was mine before she was yours" feud. I never really cared for the "sign the match, then add the angle" approach to this, but it won Feud of the Year or Angle of the Year or something on RSPW, so I guess many disagreed with me. This is arguably Savage's last really great match in the WWF, with the possible exception of Savage v. Warrior from Summerslam 1992. Super-hot crowd. Perfect is almost Togo-ish in his TOTAL DICKHOOD~! Flair blades, and I was half-expecting Savage to join him in a sympathy blade, but no dice. Flair dominates, but Savage makes the superhero comeback and destroys Flair, finally hitting the big elbow. But Perfect yanks him out of the ring to make the save. What a jerk (You know it's a good character when you can still sit back years later and think he's a total jerk for doing that). Flair tries the old brass knucks, but Savage kicks out. They cheat outrageously some more, allowing Flair to get the figure-four. He destroys Savage's knee unmercifully, but stalls one time too many and allows Savage to roll him up out of nowhere for the pin and title. ****1/4 Great match. Flair goes after Liz and a wild brawl erupts. Savage finally gets his moment of glory, without You-Know-Who posing in the background. Good for him.

Wrestlemania IX: Headshrinkers v. Steiner Brothers. It's Wrestlemania IX, what you want? From my review…

- The Headshrinkers v. The Steiner Brothers. The very first JR broadcast, and he works in "Slobberknocker" and "smash-mouth" LESS THAN A MINUTE IN. I bet he'll start reeling off the football references any minute now. Steiner gets double-teamed very quickly. The Steiners retaliate with a double Steiner-line off the top rope. JR must be creaming in his toga. Scott dominates Samu, but gets dumped right over the top and takes a MAN-SIZED bump to the floor in what looked to be intended as a stungun. JR notes that this is probably what the action in the Roman coliseums was like. I don't recall the Christians putting the lions in a chinlock and whispering "Roar and then bite my leg off and I'll bleed to death", but I'll take his word forit. Scott plays Ricky Morton and the 'Shrinkers punch and kick a lot. This match is getting entirely too much airtime for the non-workrate. Rick gets the hot tag but makes the mistake of ramming the Samoans' heads together. He's very dumb, you see. In an awesome spot, the heels go for a Doomsday Device and Rick catches and powerslams Samu in mid-air! Scott tags in again and finishes it with the Frankensteiner in short order. At this point it was getting scary watching Scott do the rana. *1/2

Wrestlemania X: Intercontinental title: Shawn Michaels v. Razor Ramon. When it came right down it, this HAD to be there, thus taking away the option of using Shawn or the I-C title anywhere else in the show. Still, I think I made the right call. From my review…

- Intercontinental title, ladder match: Razor Ramon v. Shawn Michaels. Shawn and Razor exchange hammerlocks and a hiptoss to start, but Razor gets a chokeslam. Shawn follows with a neckbreaker and stomps away. Ramon gets dumped out, and Diesel sneaks out and lays him out. Hebner objects him over Diesel's objections that he didn't see anything. Ramon nails Shawn and sends him upside-down in the corner, then dumps him. Brawl on the floor, where Ramon stops to pull up the padding before heading back in. He goes for the Razor's Edge early, but Shawn backdrops him out of the ring, and onto the exposed concrete. Sick Bump #1. Shawn grabs the ladder, and Ramon steals it so Shawn heads into the ring and baseball slides it into Ramon's face. Sick Bump #2. That also draws the first "Oooooooh" from the crowd, of many. Shawn puts the ladder into the ring and nails Razor with it, then pistons it into his ribs from a standing position. He drops it on Ramon's back, then waits for him to stand up and casually tosses it at Ramon's back. Sick Bump #3. Shawn makes the first climb, but gets his tights pulled down. He shoves Ramon down and drops an elbow off the ladder. He sets it up in the corner and hits a flying splash off the top, another famous visual. He climbs, but Ramon pushes him over to stop him. They do a headlock/crisscross sequence for a double-KO. Shawn sets the ladder up in the corner, but gets whipped into it and goes to the floor. Ramon follows and makes a Shawn sandwich, with the ladder and the post as bread. Sick Bump #4. Ramon puts the ladder against the apron and catapults Shawn into it. Back in, he puts the butt-end of the ladder right into Shawn's jaw and Shawn bails. Sick Bump #5. He climbs, but Shawn comes back in via the top rope and knocks him off. The ladder crashes on top of him in the process. Both guys climb and slug it out, leading to Shawn getting suplexed off the ladder. Ramon falls off and climbs back up, but Shawn dropkicks the ladder and Ramon crashes off. Shawn pushes the ladder onto him for good measure. Superkick puts Ramon down, and a piledriver follows. He climbs a folded ladder in the corner and rides it down onto Ramon. Sick Bump #6. Shawn puts the ladder in the middle with Ramon laying underneath it, just to be a jerk, but it backfires when Ramon recovers and pushes the ladder over, tying Shawn in the ropes in the process. Razor climbs unhindered and claims both the real and bogus I-C titles to become the undisputed champion at 18:47. ***** One of the best and most influential matches of the modern era.

Wrestlemania XI: Lawrence Taylor v. Bam Bam Bigelow. Total no-brainer here, this is the Steamboat-Savage of celebrity matches and one of the very few reasons to bother with the 11th Wrestlemania. Bam Bam was promised a main-event push for doing this job. I think he'd better call the WWF and find out when that's coming before this buyout deal goes through. From my review…

- Main event: Bam Bam Bigelow v. Lawrence Taylor. This of course came about because Bigelow shoved LT at Royal Rumble 95. Pat Patterson is the special referee, and both the Corporation and LT's football friends (including future WCW "wrestlers" Steve MacMichael and Reggie White) are at ringside. LT dominates Bam Bam to start, with a clothesline over the top rope, a few hiptosses and a bulldog, making this better than almost any other celebrity matches to date. Bam Bam takes over with some kicks and punches. LT throws a wicked forearm, I'll give him that. Bigelow applies a Boston Crab, and LT does a pretty respectable selling job. LT suplexes Bigelow out of a headlock, but gets the worst of it and Bigelow actually hits a sort-of moonsault. Bigelow comes back with a half-powerbomb half-gut wrench for a two count. Bigelow pulls out an enzuigiri and goes back to the top. His FLYING HEADBUTT OF DOOM only gets two. Why would he agree to kill his own finisher like that? LT comes back with forearms and some shoulderblocks, then a big forearm. Bigelow is staggered, and Taylor comes off the second rope with a flying forearm to the head that looked as though it hit solid, and it gets the pin! **1/2 on the regular scale, ****1/2 on the "celebrity match" scale.

Wrestlemania XII: Ultimate Warrior v. Hunter Hearst Helmsley. My reasoning was that I wanted the Warrior in there somehow, and HHH. Call it a compromise. Besides, it's Sable's first appearance, and HHH needs to job now and then. From my review…

- Hunter Hearst Helmsley v. The Ultimate Warrior. The Bimbo of the Week for HHH is some blonde…I think her name is Rena-something. This was the Warrior's big return, and HHH got to be the sacrificial lamb. And this was BEFORE his big punishment, oddly enough. Better days would of course be ahead. Warrior gets an anemic pop, despite piles of pyro and weeks of hype. He would disappear back to his hole in the ground four months later. Usual Warrior squash here as he no-sells a very quick Pedigree and finishes with his usual array of scientific maneuvers (shoulderblock, gorilla slam, splash) for the pin at 1:36. DUD

Wrestlemania 13: Bret Hart v. Steve Austin. Well, DUH. From my review…

- Submission match: Bret Hart v. Steve Austin. Ken Shamrock is the guest referee. Brawl outside the ring to start, with Austin crotching Hart on the STEEL railing and clotheslining him to the floor. They brawl into the crowd, with Austin ramming Bret into the boards and pounding on him. Hitman comes back and they brawl up the stairs. Back to the ring, and Hart takes a MAN-SIZED bump to the stairs. Austin clotheslines him off the apron. Austin tries to use the steel steps but Bret kicks them out of his hands. Austin rams Bret to the post. We actually go the ring. Austin stomps on Bret, but Bret pulls out a neckbreaker and an elbow off the second rope. Vince starts badmouthing Bret, nothing that he'll probably have an excuse if he loses. Wow, I mean, WOW, this shit is brilliant in retrospect. I stand in awe of Vincent K. McMahon. Bret works on Austin's knee viciously. Austin suddenly hits the stunner out of nowhere, but can't capitilize fast enough. Big Austin chant. Bret goes back to the knee. The ringpost figure-four makes it's PPV debut to a monster pop. Bret grabs the bell and a chair, and opts to try the Brian Pillman Maneuver on Austin, to a big pop. Austin gets loose and WHACKS Hart with the chair, to a big pop. Another monster shot and a monster pop. Crowd is INTO Austin, big time. Austin with a slam, cross-corner whip and a suplex. Elbow off the second rope. Austin hits a russian legsweep and applies an odd cross-armbreaker. Crowd is 50/50. Boston crab from Austin to a big pop. Bret makes the ropes, so Austin goes for a Sharpshooter instead. Jerry: "Wouldn't that have been incredible, to have to submit to the Sharpshooter?" Vince: "Hey, it could happen." No shit. Bret escapes and Austin tosses him to the floor. Whip reversal sends Austin crashing into the timekeeper. Austin rips open a huge gash on his head. Now that's some high-quality blading. Austin gets rammed to the stairs and the ringpost. Austin is literally dripping blood on the ring. Hart drops an elbow and stomps away. Crowd doesn't feel so good about Bret now. He grabs a chair and smashes it into Austin's knee. You can almost feel the crowd changing sides. Bret goes for the Sharpshooter but Austin blocks. Bret pounds Austin in the corner, but Steve counters with a greco-roman ballshot. Austin whips Bret to the corner, then does some stomping of his own. Austin with a superplex. Austin's face is literally covered in blood. Austin grabs a cable from ringside and chokes out Bret, but Bret grabs the bell that he brought in 10 minutes earlier and rings it on Austin's head. Sharpshooter. We get the famous shot of Austin bleeding all over the ring and screaming in pain. Austin fights the pain and powers out...but Bret hangs on. He reapplies the move and moves to the center of the ring. Austin passes out and Shamrock stops the match. Crowd is less than thrilled. Austin is DEAD. Bret soaks in some cheers, then goes back to pounding on Austin. Shamrock takes him down and gets a big pop. Hart leaves to huge boos. Austin leaves to the crowd chanting his name. Hogan and Flair WISH they could pull this off. This would set off the Steve Austin v. Hart Foundation war that carried the WWF through all of 1997, and was supposed to culminate in Bret returning the job to Austin at Wrestlemania XIV, but, well, you know...shit happens. *****

Wrestlemania XIV: Taka Michinoku v. Aguilla. Here's your light heavyweight title match, the only time it's been defended at Wrestlemania. Aguilla is better known today as Essa Rios. The match is an okay spotfest, included here over the mixed tag match only because I wanted to have all the titles defended. From my review…
- Lightheavyweight title: TAKA Michinoku v. Aguila. The crowd just ain't into these guys, but damned if they don't try their hardest to get them into it. They pull out some eye-popping high spots, too numerous to list here. However, there's no real psychology or wrestling going on, it's just spot-spot-spot like a Sabu match. Aguila still looks pretty green, but he at least was able to keep up with Taka. Still, can't fault 'em for effort. It was like a Jackie Chan movie that way -- the plot might not be the greatest, but the stunts were spectacular. Taka with the Michinoku Driver to retain. ***

Wrestlemania XV: Shane McMahon v. X-Pac. This would be the Steamboat-Savage of overbooked storyline-intensive McMahon matches. Plus I wanted to get a McMahon in there somehow so they'll FINALLY get some recognition and TV time after their years of quietly toiling in the background of wrestling. From my review…
- European title match: "Stone Cold" Shane McMahon v. X-Pac. Common sense and fan sentiment said that X-Pac kills Shane here and goes on to have a successful European title reign. But of course, SWERVES HAVE ATTITUDE, BABEE! X-Pac survives the assault of the Stooges to start, then chases Shane around the ring. Shane runs away like Vince Russo from good ideas. Back in, X-Pac kicks his head off and tries a broncobuster, but Test pulls Shane out. He posts X-Pac for good luck. Shane-O-Mac works him in the corner and then drops…the Greenwich Elbow. X-Pac moves, but Shane lowblows him anyway. Belt-whipping follows, but Shane gets bumped over the top and X-Pac hits a pescado. In this case, the total opposite of the Kane one. It makes contact and everything. X-Pac takes out the Posse, but Test gets in a cheapshot to drop him. Back in, Shane drops a 2nd rope elbow, but gets dropkicked down from the top and superplexed. Test saves the pin, but gets taken out. X-Pac lays in his own shots with the belt, leading to the broncobuster. Test sneaks in and KO's him with the title belt, however. It gets two. Shane misses his own broncobuster, and Test is in again. He gets a broncobuster for his troubles as HHH and Chyna are out to even the odds. However, HHH turns on X-Pac as Chyna distracts the referee by turning from face to heel 14 times in succession, and Shane retains his title at 8:41. *** However, it turned out to be an important storyline development, because without this match, Shane could never have gone on RAW and officially retired with the title after his first match. Of course, both Shane and the title were un-retired by Summerslam, but this is wrestling, and logic rarely enters into things. Eric Bischoff said so on Meltzer between double-talk, so it must be true.

Wrestlemania 2000: Hardcore battle royale. Well, I wanted the Hardcore title defended somewhere, and this has the advantage over the XV Hardcore match because Billy Gunn's not involved, which is generally the deciding factor in any major decision I make. I'm a little too generous in my original review of it, but it's still an entertaining crapfest for what it is. From my review…

- Hardcore battle royale: Tazz, Kaientai, Hardcore Holly, Mean Street Posse, the Headbangers, Viscera & The Acolytes v. Crash Holly. Every pinfall in the 15-minute time limit results in a title change. Last person to be the Hardcore champion wins. Tazz suplexes Crash to win the title 30 seconds in. Viscera splashes Tazz on the floor to win it. Crash is busted open as the Acolytes go after Viscera. Lots of nasty weapons shots from Bradshaw leave everyone laying. Viscera escapes from both Hardcore & Mosh to retain for 5 minutes, which sets the record for the match. Pete Gas absolutely taps an artery and bleeds all over his sweater vest. Acolytes slam Viscera off the top, then put Funaki on top to give HIM the title. See, they don't even care about the title, they just want to hurt people. Funaki runs like the wind to back and everyone follows. Rodney catches him first and gets a title reign. Joey Abs clobbers him and wins it. Thrasher rams him into a steel door and pins him to win the title. Everyone beats the shit out of him and we head back up the aisle. Pete Gas sprays Thrasher with a fire extinguisher, then nails him with it and gets his second title. Back to the ring as Tazz suplexes Pete and gets HIS second title. Three minutes left, the Hollies double-team Tazz in the ring and get several two-counts. They keep stopping each other. Crash gets the pin with 30 seconds left, but Tazz slaps on the Tazzmission as time winds down. With 7 seconds left, Hardcore smashes a jar of candy over both their heads and pins Crash to win the Hardcore title for good. That was quite the entertaining little crapfest, I gotta admit. ***1/2 The ending seemed blown, as Tim White was apparently supposed to have time run out before counting the pin. Oh well, I predicted Hardcore would take it pre-show, so I'm happy.

- Update: Having actually written the piece, this was a BITCH to do, sort of a vicious logic puzzle forcing me to eliminate some really great matches because of duplication of titles or minor wrestlers (I'm looking at YOU, Tito). Muchos gracias to Taryn Long the coverbabe for all the help in piecing this thing together. The end result: Everyone works once, every title in the WWF is defended, and as many major names as I could fit in have been represented. And as a bonus, the show sucks huge gaping gobs of ass. Well, there's two ***** matches here, but BOY is a bunch of crap. Still, nothing like a little mental workout for kicks.

We'll try this again for Summerslam some day.