By "Net.cop" Scott Keith

Yes, once again YOUR guide to the human self-promotional blitz that is the Netcop.

First of all, I want to apologize to those of you waiting on tape orders from me.  I try not to be ridiculously late, but punctuality was never my forte.  To further annoy me, I did a HUGE batch of tapes over the past week in a mad rush to catch up, only to discover tonight that in the jungle of wires that is my home entertainment system, a video cable had come loose, thus messing up the whole works and rendering the entire batch useless.  Also, the master copy of Netcop Busts is becoming increasingly worn out (much like my venerable 12-year old dubbing VCR) and I may have to retire both soon.  Either that, or autograph the master Busts tape and give it away in a cool contest here on Rantsylvania.com!

But enough of those matters.

I did a column for MarkMadden.com, which is already raising eyebrows, not because of the controversial content (although we've got that, too) but because the Round Mound of Sound chose to insert editorial comments here and there.  It doesn't really bother me THAT much, but others seemed to take umbrage with it.

Besides, Madden is okay with me as long as he keeps putting me over on WCW Live.  To hear some guy from New Jersey call in Thursday night and ask about me (and Madden compliment my writing in his usual backhanded manner) check out the link here: http://webevents.broadcast.com/wcw/radioshow/9910/101499b.ram.   It's about 35 minutes into the show.

No Mercy is later today (or yesterday depending on how soon Sean gets this up) and since CMA Wolfpac handles the WWF shows, I won't be ordering it, and I'm working Sunday night so I'll miss it.  But rest assured, my power and influence will assure that the tape is in my hands by the time the show is over, and the Rant will be up that night, all things being equal. I'm pretty much pencilling a thumbs down in, unless Jeff and Matt and Edge and Christian (oh my!) can manage to pull a ****1/2 affair out of their ass.

Big news this week:  Jeff Jarrett jumps to WCW.   My take?  Who gives a shit about Jeff Jarrett to begin with?  If you have to give the guy six I-C titles, a hot stripping valet and a woman-beating gimmick to give him even 1/4 of the heat that the painfully unover HHH earned mostly by himself, then FUCK HIM.  Go to WCW, shoot all you want, you still suck. If Ed and Vince are stupid enough to push the guy to main event, they deserve what they get.

I STILL haven't had the impetus to bother to watch Smackdown yet, and I doubt I will.  Putting the titles back on Rock and Sock is a total brainfart in my books, ruining a potentially marketable tag team title match on PPV in favor of hotshotting a title change on the network show. Nothing else in the spoilers particularly grabbed my attention, either, so unless I get REALLY bored tomorrow morning before work, there probably won't be a Smackdown rant over on Shooters this week.

By the way, I *heartily* recommend checking out the Dave Meltzer radio show over at www.eyada.com.   If you think I drop cool tidbits in my stuff, wait until you hear Dave for a couple of hours.  Did you know that Bret Hart wasn't told that he was jobbing to Yokozuna at Wrestlemania IX until the day before the show?  Meanwhile, Hulk Hogan was over in England doing a talk show and exposing the entire finish two days before the show.   Cool stuff.

As a reminder, the remaining Halloween Havoc Retro Rants are due up this week on WrestleLine, although most are already available in the Tape Reviews section here.  95 is in the can already, but I've gotta get 96 and possibly a redone version of 97 done up in the next few days.  I don't think I did the Rey v. Eddie match justice in the original 97 rant.

And THEN, just after that wraps up, I'm gonna have to go into overdrive and get the Survivor Series Concept Rant done.  New ones to come soon: 1987-91, 94-96, and 98.  Coming the week after that:  NO WRESTLING FOR A WHILE.

Eh, who am I kidding?

I can at least be thankful that there's nothing major to do after that until Starrcade.and if you think I'm gonna sit through FOUR FUCKING HOURS of Starrcade 84, you're NUTS.  The Concept Rant will begin with 1987 and you'll LIKE IT.

By the way, my legal team will be in contact with Scott Hudson for stealing my "Brutus the Shark Zodiac Butcher Barber Bootyman Disciple with No Face" running gag this week on WCWSN.  If Larry Zbyszko starts using "...OF DOOM" then I'll be filing a civil suit in addition. Anyway, it was a pretty good show, too.  I like the new direction.  Too bad WCW is already planning to fuck around with it.  Can you say "The Big Shizow?"

As always, don't forget to fill out our Demographics Survey if you haven't already [Webmaster's note: the survey's closed now, sorry.] (remember, SCOTT NEEDS A DVD PLAYER!  Hey, if you're gonna sell out, might as well be up front about it.) and keep coming back for the newest Rants from yours truly and the other guys on this site.  And keep sending stuff to the Rant Crew!  Someday *you* could be in my position, ready to rule the internet with an iron first.

Well, okay, probably not, but it sounds good that way.

Until next time, MAKE MINE NETCOP!

- "Netcop" Scott Keith