By "Net.cop" Scott Keith

The Netcop Rant for the week of August 13, 1997.

You know what bugs me? When people who write a weekly column forget to write a new one for days on end, and then finally write one up and just post it to their web page.

Okay, that doesn't really bug me, but I thought I'd bring it up.

We start out this week with words of well-wishing for Steve Austin, who may have to retire due to a neck injury that's been bugging him for more than a year now. I think it's a great tragedy that someone who works as hard and consistently as Austin does gets rewarded with a career-ending injury and someone who's a lazy piece of shit like Hulk Hogan gets 3 WCW World titles and <x> million dollars per year for two or three title defenses.

On second thought, Sting may not be a dumb as we thought he was...

Sabu, take note: Austin didn't take *half* the bumps you do.

Hopefully this will sober up many of the more "extreme" (read: idiotic) young wrestlers in the business who seem to think that injuries are non-existent and taking DDTs on chairs from the top rope is a perfectly good way to make a living.

Ah, well...

I've already run down Road Wild several times, so I won't waste your valuable time by doing so again.

That being said, I'm very pumped to see Nitro finally debut in Canada (the *real* one, not our "Canadian" version) and will be more interested to find out how TSN is going to program it. The predominant rumor is RAW going live at 9 EST, then Sportsdesk at 11, then Nitro at Midnight EST on a tape delay. It should be noted that RAW already crushes Sportsdesk in the ratings, so I think the biggest thing to watch for is the anchors squirming as they have no choice but to hype wrestling all night long on Mondays. Heh heh.

Summerslam did a buyrate of between .7 and .8, which is fucking awesome either way for the WWF. They were hoping to get just that, especially since the show was built on angles and wrestling and not celebrity endorsements (not mentioning any names), and it's good to see them bouncing back like this.

Back to Steve Austin, if it is Over, as they say, then I think the classy thing to do would be to have Austin beat Bret Hart in his retirement match to win the WWF title, thus giving him all three belts, and have him go out that way. Just one last match to say goodbye and allow him his dream of being a World champion before hanging it up for good. He was pretty much scheduled to win it from Hart at some point this year anyway, so why not do it and get it over with?

I read an interesting piece of news on the Stunner's homepage which said that Syxx was fired from WCW for about 30 minutes after yanking down Ric Flair's pants on national TV on the July 28 Nitro. Apparently even Eric is losing patience with the WCW Clique.

Many people have speculated that the Shawn-HHH-Rude thing is a continuation of what was supposed to happen with the "Perfect Alliance" that Hennig fucked up by leaving. The rumored fourth member of that particular group was supposed to be Brian Pillman. Take that for what you will...

Scary thought of the day: Originally, the Rocker breakup was supposed to have *Marty* turning on *Shawn* and doing a heel turn. Egads...I just can't picture Jannetty doing a striptease in front of the crowd...

Stevie Richards wrestled a squash in WCW TV taping action this week. Man, WCW's money will heal those career-ending neck injuries pretty fucking quick, eh? SUE HIS ASS OFF, PAUL E!

Speaking of the clueless one, Richards wrestles Raven on the upcoming Clash, for an estimated audience of 2. You know, I think it says something when WCW can take one of the greatest ongoing characters and angles from ECW and totally fuck it up like this. Raven, much like myself on this group, drew heat merely by existing, and now he's reduced to fighting Big Stevie Cool on the Clash in his first match. And the scary part is...I'M NOT SURE WHO'LL WIN! Stevie is drawing better heat than Raven right now...

I'd like to point out that Curt Hennig could have been the focal point of the major angle the WWF would have revolved around had he stuck around, and now he's reduced to teaming with Ric Flair and possibly being the fourth Horsemen. He's rumored to be wrestling Raven in a "big money wrestler the fans could care least about" match.

Was the world really waiting for Hulk Hogan v. Roddy Piper III? Didn't Piper prove himself to be a shitty wrestler enough this year without subjecting us to a cage match and making us pay for it?

Scary thought of the day, part II: Wrath seems to be the best thing to come out of Blood Runs Cold. I've always liked Bryan Clark, but when Adam fucking Bomb is getting better crowd reaction that a guy who was hyped for almost a year, it's time to pack it in and try something else.

Dennis Rodman is the only person on the face of the earth who could make Jimi Hendrix look well-adjusted. Just brought that up because he uses "Voodoo Child" for his music now.

Speaking of Hendrix, I was checking out some stuff of his in the record store recently. He released three albums (Are You Experienced?, Axis: Bold as Love, Electric Ladyland) while alive. However, there's at least 7 or 8 albums by him. Which makes him one of the few people to be more prolific a recording artist dead than alive.

John Lennon being the other one.

Anyone else notice Rodman fucked up spraypainting the nWo logo on the belt at Road Wild? Maybe that explains his hair coloring problems...

I'm honestly shocked that Dusty Rhodes hasn't booked himself into the nWo angle by now.

Speaking of the American Cow, I'm reminded of a great Eddie Ellner line, where he voted Dusty's triple somersault to the head of the line at Wong Foo's All-U-Can-Eat Buffet as Move of the Year for his own PWI awards...

And speaking of bookers, who is Janie Engles? The bookers listed at the end of WCW PPVs are usually Paul "Terry" Taylor, Jody "The Assassin" Hamilton, and Janie Engles. Who is this guy?

For those who wonder why I bitch about the WCW booking so much, try to find the Jim Cornette shoot interview from about 1993, where he does this 4 hour long Q & A with a select group of fans after a Smoky Mountain show. The guy is a fucking wrestling genius, and it's really sad to see him wasting away in the WWF like this after hitting his stride with SMW...

Among the highlights, he talks about how the SMW "invasion" angle of 93 should have been a full-scale invasion by a rival organization, where anarchy breaks out and WCW seems helpless to stop it. He suggested that something like that would draw a lot of heat. Heh heh.

I think Vince should seriously look at getting some serious Japanese talent over here. I know he's already looking at El Samurai, but even someone like Jushin Liger, who's nearing the end, would be terrific and would at least have name value. If you go back and watch the Super J tournaments, there's tons of guys floating around over there who can put on just as good a show as the Malenkos and Benoits, and for half the price, I'd bet. Getting them over with the fans might be tough, but there's hope for anyone (Stone Cold Otani anyone?).

Was it just me, or did anyone else audibly groan when Paul Bearer came on the screen at the end of RAW? I'm just plain tired of this guy. If he'd speak in his normal voice he'd be easier to handle, but it's just getting old now. The red lights are a pretty cool touch, though. If Vince can handle this *just* right, there might be hope for Kain yet...

Speaking of Cain...how long before Skull turns on Eight-Ball? Brother teams have a rough history in the WWF...

And if Vince wants DOA to have *real* heat, he should follow through with that "disciples of the Undertaker" bit. Mark my words, they'd be the most over gang in years...

I finally got a chance to watch whatever ECW show had the Sandman-Tyler-Raven bit on it (Hardcore to Remember? Barely Cyberslam? All those witty titles kind of run together after a while...) and I have to say that it ranks as perhaps the most inexusable wrestling angle I've ever seen. Pushing the envelope is one thing, but using a kid hardly old enough to remember his own phone number in a brainwashing angle is stupid on all parts. It's things like that which keep swinging my feelings for ECW towards the negative. That and Axl Rotten as a general concept.

I mean, I'm sure he's a great guy in real life, but he's an untalented, uninteresting slob in the ring. Anyone who has to resort to TaiPei death matches to get themselves over isn't worth my time to watch. And I include Terry Funk in that category.

For sake of reference, I marked out as loudly for Rick Rude as just about anything I've marked out for before. Zenon and I spent the whole show guessing who the bodyguard would be, and not once did Rude's name even get broached.

Btw, TSN edited RAW down to 90 minutes because of the incredibly important Canada Games, and as a result we missed Hawk-Godwin and Putski-Williams. I think I'll write a letter and thank them...

And speaking of writing letters and thanking, thank you for stopping by and reading this.

Until Mary Jane has an orgy with all the Spider-Clones, Make Mine Netcop!