by G.P. Ryan

- WrestleFest 90. More early '90s WWF goodness.... oh wait.

- No theme, it's Sean Mooney in a studio flanked by action figures. Lord Alfred Hayes accompanies him on commentary for some of the matches.

- Randy Savage v. Roddy Piper. From Miami. Savage with the royal stall to start. Sherri distracts Piper, allowing Savage a cheapshot to no effect. Sherri hops on the apron to distract, but it doesn't work as Piper catches him with a clothesline. Savage bails after an inside cradle. Man, everything here's sloppy. Savage starts to walk, Piper sends him back in but Sherri's ugliness transfixes him long enough for Macho to get in the double axhandle and another in the ring for 2 as Savage controls. Punch, choke, hey, there's a chinlock. Man, Savage sure went to pot in the early '90s. Piper comes back with punches. Airplane spin, and Piper falls onto Savage for 2. Savage gets his own airplane spin, even faster, and he sells it, too. Heh. Savage goes up top, but falls outside, where they "brawl" for the double-countout at 9:29. Postmatch hijinx see Savage and Sherri get sleepers and Piper whip Savage with his belt. But was it a YAPPAPAI strap? What the hey, I'm in a good mood and all, 1 for 1 for the dueling airplane spins.

- "fan favorite match," Intercontinental title: Ultimate Warrior v. Dino Bravo. The "fan" requested Brainbusters-Rockers as one of his choices, but we get this. Like you need a detailed review of this. Warrior does go up top, but on the second go, fatman blocks. And the brown singlet makes Tenta look kind of like a big turd. I'm just saying. Quake interferes again and Bravo clotheslines Waryr over the top. Oh great, the "Jimmy Hart gets his pants ripped off" spot. Bravo controls with the usual, and must be frisky as he fairly humps Warrior with the bearhug. Warrior breaks, but that dastardly heel pokes him in the eyes. Quake gets in a slam, side suplex, but it's ROID RAGE TIME! Shitty clotheslines, flying tackle, splash, but Quake breaks up the pin for the DQ at 8:14. Bulkster makes the save. 1 for 2.

- Mr. Fuji talks briefly. Mildly amusing to see a clip of him from the WM5 fun run. Yeah, the character was at least xenophobic, but still.

- Brutus Beefcake v. Rick Martel. From MSG. Hey, there's Vladimir. Gorilla Monsoon and Hillbilly Jim on commentary here, as Martel stalls. The match finally starts at 2:30, but wait, more stalling. Martel offers a handshake. What, not a test of strength? Beefcake accepts and kicks him first. Infuriating Enemy Pummel and an earringer, but when he goes for the IEP again, Martel gets an inverted atomic drop to take over. Stomp, pose, stomp, chinlock. Go figure that Martel would be decidedly better 8 years later before getting badly injured twice, coincidentally against each member of Harlem Heat, and retiring. Beefcake gets a flash inside cradle for 2. Martel takes his time going upstairs, and gets crotched. Beefcake comes back with an inverted and regular atomic drop, that's most of his repertoire right there, and a clothesline sends Martel out. Beefcake sunset flips in, but Martel grabs the ropes for the pin at 12:36. This would be unentertaining crap. Beefcake gets the sleeper, but not haircut. 1 for 3.

- Hart Foundation v. Powers of Pain. Foundation promo beforehand, and it's like old times hearing Neidhart's laugh. THIS IS THE BIGGEST MATCH IN THE HISTORY OF OUR SPORT! Sorry, it's just Fat Tony on commentary. Neidhart and Barbarian start, the usual idiot power stuff ensues. Neidhart shoves him into Warlord and gets a schoolboy before tagging to some midcarder, and Neidhart gets 2 from a Bret turnbuckle elbow after a blind tag. This would be before WM6, as Fuji is in the Powers' corner here. Nothing happens, and the Harts trade off armbars on Warlord. Bret finally assumes the role of Ricky Morton. The Powers set a methodical pace, to use Gorillaspeak for "work slow as molasses and do a whole lot of nothing." Neidhart gets the hot tag, but is distracted by Mr. Fuji tripping him and everyone ends up outside. A misdirected cane shot gets Warlord, and Neidhart beats the count at 10:36. Bleh. 1 for 4.

- Hart Foundation v. Dino Bravo & Honky Tonk Man. This doesn't look likely to break the trend. Bret does stuff to Bravo, including a Thesz press right before Honky gets the tag. They make a wish with Honky, and one of them gets a bearhug, which is left as an exercise for the reader. Bravo in as the heels take over. Neidhart gets stomped for a couple of hours. Bret gets the hot tag and dominates Honky. Bravo breaks up a pin and hell breaks loose, as Honky and Bret collide. There's the megaphone, and Bravo goes for it, but gets sunset flipped and Neidhart gets it and uses it for the DQ at 8:57. Sheesh. 1 for 5.

- Hart Foundation v. The Rockers. Why, yes, this should be much better. Jannetty gets a crossbody on Bret and works the arm. Bret reverses as Jannetty tags to the showstopper, the main.. it's just Shawn Michaels to continue the armbar. Proto-HBK plays Ricky Morton, as Neidhart hooks a bearhug. Were they having a bad night or something? Michaels flips out of a move and slams him, but can't come back. Neidhart gets a dropkick for 2. Neidhart's slingshot misses. Jannetty gets the hot tag and powerslams Bret, Neidhart saves. Nothing much happens, and Neidhart gets a semi-hot tag and whomps Michaels, but Bret goes flying when Neidhart gets whipped to the ropes, and the Rougeaus run in and attack the Rockers for the DQ at 11:17. Damnit! Match wasn't that good, sadly, but it didn't outright suck or anything. Might as well go 2 for 6, but it's not an enthusiastic thumbs-up.

- Hayes narrates a segment on the WWF's truck fleet. When I care, I'll let you know.

- World title: Hulk Hogan v. Curt Hennig. From MSG. You know the drill. Hogan dominates, handling both Hennig and Poffo with ease to start. Hennig takes over, but can't show more than choking, punching or kicking. Hennig sets up for a whip to the post, but irony interjects and Hogan reverses. Hennig goes up top, but has to settle for coming off the second rope with a weak double axhandle. All right, a sleeper! Heck, it's working on me... Armdrops, Hogan escapes but Hennig blocks and reverses the charge to the corner. He goes up top (for what? a Hennigsault?), but Hogan crotches him. A backdrop superplex to follow up? HAHAHAHAHAno. Hogan misses an elbow or something, perfectplex, hulkup, but the big boot sends Hennig outside, where they fight. Hennig swings and misses with a chair, but manages to knock Hogan off the apron with an international object. Hogan back in, he decks Hennig and gets the object, nails him with it and legdrops him, but Earl Hebner calls for the bell, and Hennig wins by DQ at 13:37. HAH! Hogan's music plays because he's a fair sportsman and all. Fun ending wasn't enough to make up for the match. 2 for 7.

- Alleged main event: Ted DiBiase & Akeem v. Ultimate Warrior & Jake Roberts. Big Bossman is the guest referee. Hey, 2x play is such a nice feature on this VCR. Jake and DiBiase start, Jake starts to work the arm but DiBiase cheapshots him and bails. Back in, Warrior gets the tag and tackles Akeem. Tag to Jake, but Akeem blocks the DDT and Jake plays Ricky Morton briefly where nothing of note happens. Warrior gets the hot tag, DiBiase takes the tackle and splash for the pin at 6:47. I care. 2 for 8.

- Final verdict: Woof, this wasn't much better, as the points were fairly generous. Again, recommendation to avoid.