by Jeremy Botter

Just got back from the WWF Axxess Festival here in Houston. I attended the 5pm-10pm show, but ended up leaving around 9pm when my legs couldn't stand the pain of walking around anymore. I'm extremely tired from the walking (and eating 20 Buffalo Wings at Hooters following the show), so this report is probably going to be a bit shorter than I had intended. I did have the incredible oppurtunity to obtain a media pass for the event (thanks, Jeff!), but didn't get to interview anyone due to the minimal amount of time the guys had while at the various booths.

If you've never been to an Axxess Festival, you don't know what you're missing. The entire arena is laid out with wrestling gear, and from the moment you walk in you're surrounded by WWF lore. We made a beeline to the first autograph station to see Lita (a trip that was worth every minute), and then headed to the Hall Of Fame section to see who was around. An Andre The Giant cardboard standup absolutely dominated everything in that area - Andre was a massive man and the standup is amazing. When we arrived at the Legends arena, John Tenta and Fred Ottman were signing autographs. We felt like creating some mischief, so we asked Ottman to sign our pictures as "Shockmaster." You should have seen the look on his face after THAT one. I think he would have played it off better, but John Tenta proceeded to point and laugh and do imitations of Ottman's famous fall, generally making the situation much worse than it should have been. He signed the photo with Tugboat AND Shockmaster. :-p

Oh, and a CRZ look-alike enjoyed our "Shockmaster" moment a great deal as well.

We stopped by the Byte This booth to watch Paul Heyman and Tazz crack on each other for one of the WWF's many webcasts. The Byte This guys were hilarious, and during breaks Tazz would tell Thug Life jokes to anyone who would listen. Tazz is a very, very short man, but I obviously didn't tell him this to his face.

There were 6 main autograph stations that were absolutely FLOODED with people. Each station had a line that you'd stand in for 1 hour, and you never knew WHO you'd actually get autographs from. Instead of standing in the lines (which I absolutely abhor), we decided to just stand off to the side and take pictures of the Superstars when they made their entrances.

The first match of the day at Axxess was Steve Bradley and Scott Vick taking on the Haas Brothers. Bradley is the real deal and should be golden in the WWF if he's given a good gimmick. The Haas Brothers looked completely lost in the ring; they're good at the game of mat wrestling but horrible at crowd psychology. Actually, to say that they are horrible at crowd psychology would be an insult to people who actually have a minimal amount of crowd psychology. What I should have said is "they have ZERO crowd psychology." Bradley and Vick picked up the win after Vick nailed a Modest Driver on one of the Haas fellas. I should probably point out here that Lilian Garcia is ULTRA-FINE and deserves to be in the WWF Divas videos.

After the match it was announced that Raven would be having a Q&A session in 30 minutes, so we made a point to be back in time for it. In the meantime, the Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young made their way to the Legends booth to do autographs, and we went as far away as possible for the time being. They had a ton of the various WWF vehicles that have appeared in some form or another on WWF TV over the past 3 years:

1. Vince McMahon's white Corvette, still filled with cement.
2. The Undertaker's bike from Smackdown this past week.
3. The DX Express (very impressive even while missing pieces.)
4. Stone Cold's truck
5. The Undertaker's Hearse
6. Kurt Angle's mini-scooter

After checking out the various vehicles, we headed over to the Jakks toy booths to see what kind of merchandise was available. While the guys did this, I headed to the backstage area (really, just a curtained-off area of the Arena) to see who was hanging around. I chatted briefly with the Hardy Boyz, and Jeff promised that the spots he pulls in tomorrow's TLC II will blow away anything we've ever seen before. I told him to be careful, and he assured me (and others) that he'd be as safe as humanly possible. He also asserted that it was Wrestlemania, the biggest show of his life, and that he HAD to do something to make it special. I can't say I agree; killing yourself in front of 70,000 people isn't "special," it's "retarded." After this, I walked over to a table where Chris Benoit, William Regal, Steve Blackman, and some WWF.com guys were holding court. Steve Regal is one of the funniest people I've ever met, and it's quite obvious that he enjoys being clean and sober. It was hilarious to hear him relate stories of his early days fighting at carnivals in England - I pity the fool who challenged Regal to a fight and actually expected to win. I'd also like to add here than Chris Benoit has no neck. He has a head that sits atop a large muscle. While backstage, I also got to see the Big Show. He's got a very large head, and I don't mean ego-wise. Dude has a big noggin.

I stopped by the WWF With Authority booth and met Anthony, the game creator. After introducing myself (and giving him my screen name, since I was a member of the beta testing team), we left him to his job and looked at some of the stuff available in the WWF Shopzone. $28 for a t-shirt? I think not.

We headed back out for the Raven Q&A session. I tried to record it, but I have a lot of crowd noise in my copy, so an MP3 of the session will NOT be forthcoming. I *have* done brief recaps of some of the best questions, though.

Q: Where are you clubbing tonight, and who is your favorite person to work with?

A: I don't club anymore. I've been clean and sober for 11 months now...(crowd applause)...yeah, clean and sober...you wouldn't have liked me if you'd met me 11 months ago, I assure you. My favorite worker....I'd...probably have to say Tommy Dreamer.

Q: Why'd you leave ECW both times?

A: ECW...I left the first time because WCW called me, Eric called me, and offered me a huge amount of money. The second time, the second...Paul E. and I are so alike, we are so alike creatively, that we butted heads and didn't see eye to eye on things...I had to go realize my dream of working for the WWF, too. Working here (WWF) has been my dream since childhood, and no matter where I've gone, no matter what I've done or where I've wrestled, this is where I wanted to be.

Q: Which promotion was your favorite to work in?

A: The WWF. I wouldn't say that just because I'm here and I'll get fired...if you follow my career, you know that I always say what I feel no matter what the costs, and I'm saying that the WWF is my favorite place to work. Everything is so nice and well-organized, and it's so easy to get your stuff done.

Q: Which locker room is your favorite?

A: Ahh...all three of them are unique. Actually, WCW's locker room sucked. (crowd laughs, then applauds) When I was there, we had...we had 5-10 people who controlled everything backstage, and they made life hell for everyone else. I'm sure you know who I'm talking about...but ECW's locker room was great, absolutely great. The WWF locker room is great, too.

Q: How did you feel about wrestling the barbed wire match against the Sandman?

A: I was scared out of my mind about that match. I was in a bad place, and Paul E. knew that I needed to get back on my feet, so he told me I had to wrestle in this match. Once I did it, I loved it, but I was really scared going in.

Q: Which guys would you like to see from ECW make it to the WWF?

A: Well, we've already got a bunch of them...Rhyno and Spike are in...but let's see...top five people I'd like to see....Simon Diamond, Johnny Swinger...(at this point, my tape fades out for a few seconds, so I miss his last three.)

At this point, Lillian tells Raven that she feels sorry for him because of his match with Big Show and Kane tomorrow. Raven tells Lillian that she wants him and heads backstage.

By this time we were already dead tired from walking, but we went around to a few more autograph booths just to see what was available. We saw William Regal make his entrance to a HUGE amount of heel heat that quickly gave way to chants of "Regal." We headed back to the Legends booth where Kamala and Kim Chee were signing autographs. Kamala looks like he's about 160 years old, and the person under the Kim Chee hood today was a pretty large guy. 

We went back to the ring, where Lillian Garcia was fielding questions from the audience until the next scheduled match came on. Someone asked her about the Lawler/Kat situation, and she immediately shifted into "no comment" mode. The next match was Sho Funaki vs. Essa Rios, and Kaientai got a HUGE pop upon their entrance. The match was quite decent but lacked any kind of crowd heat, so the end result was pretty flat.

By now, it's 8:45 and we're dead tired. We decided to leave and head over to the Dome, where the WWF crew was putting the finishing touches on the sound and lighting system for the show. With my media pass, we were able to get in and see the finished set for the show, and let me tell you - it's impressive. I won't spoil anything for you here, but they went all-out for this show and the end result is very, very nice. The sound system is VERY loud and the lighting is much more involved than what they've done in the past. The Dome is going to look HUGE tomorrow, and it looks like they'll have a small portion of house lights on to highlight just how big the crowd really is. The show could end up being the pinnacle of the last wrestling boom, and I'll be back Monday morning with a full report on the show as it pertains to the live experience. If you're a cheap bastard who doesn't want to order the show, you can check back late tomorrow night for full results from Rick Scaia and then read Scott's PPV Rant on Monday morning.