By "Net.cop" Scott Keith

Ah, so much to talk about, so little space...

News item: Chris Benoit wins the TV title and the internet goes nuts like it, you know, means something. Hey, I'm as big a fan of Mr. Benoit as ANYONE on the 'net, and I'm glad to see him going over Booker T cleanly, but this is the FRIGGIN TV BELT! Ultimo Dragon and Alex Wright were exchanging this thing less than a year ago. Disco Inferno is a two-time champ! When he makes Goldberg submit to the crossface, call me.

News item: Steve Williams to enter the WWF. I just hope everyone realizes that he's sucked since 1992 and is just a little less fat and lazy than Yokozuna. I just don't want anyone being too disappointed, like they were when Terry Gordy came in two years ago as the Executioner.

News item: WCW backs down from a court fight over the no-complete clause. Ah, the hypocrites revealed. Just ask Paul Heyman, who lost Raven to WCW in 1997 despite a very blatant no-complete clause in *that* contract. What goes around comes around, boys.

News item: Bulldog fired from WCW? I hate to say "I told you so" (well, actually, I don't...) but didn't every WWF fan on the 'net say "WCW is going to misuse Bulldog until he jumps back to the WWF where he belongs" several times? Didn't we all instinctively know this was just a political move to curry Bret's favor and make Vince look like even more of an asshole? Well, WCW doesn't really care about Bret that much anymore, so bye-bye Bulldog. Don't count on seeing Neidhart much, either. Meanwhile, RAW beat Nitro by *how* much this week?

News item: Terry Funk still not crippled into retirement. Well, we can keep hoping.

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On a completely different note, I've recently added a little blurb to the FAQ on Raven which a few people have taken exception to and asked me to justify.

[Note: I'm going to "out" Scott Levy here, so those of you with heart conditions may wish to go to www.disney.com instead.]

A little while on RSPW, there was a minor furor over an article in the Torch which basically said that Raven's Flock angle (which is booked by Scott Levy himself, btw) was intended to have homosexual overtones. Or undertones, whichever. I can never keep those two straight.

Anyway, it's pretty easy to see if you know what to look for. To wit:

- They dress like they walked out of a bath-house, with leather and body piercings.
- Raven definitely shows greater affection to certain members (Kidman and Saturn) than others.
- Raven beat Scotty Riggs into a submissive position within the group.
- During his tenure with the group, Stevie Richards was clearly in love with Raven.
- Two members are effeminate (Kidman and Hammer) and Saturn is overly masculine at times.
- I don't even want to touch the cheeseburger bit.

Steve Richards himself has stated that Scott "Raven" Levy is gay, not that there's anything wrong with that, so it's not terribly surprising that an angle booked by him would delve into this stuff. Were Sigmund Freud still alive today, I guarantee you he'd be able to pick it apart even more thoroughly than I ever could.

Wrestling has, I think, a lot more symbolism for larger things in life that people don't even realize is there, and the performers probably don't either.

For instance, the nWo.

Now, don't go overreacting or anything, but don't they strike anyone else as being a *wee bit* on the Nazi-ish side?

You have the charismatic leader who thinks he's a demi-god (Hogan/Hitler), his simpering, propaganda spreading lackey (Bischoff-Goebbels) and his allies who don't really like him but agree with his philosophy (The Outsiders-The Axis).

That's not even the scary stuff.

Hitler loved the idea of indoctrination and propaganda to hook his membership: Get a large group of young fans, give them common things to do, and tell them you're the best over and over while reinforcing a false, long history. Sound familiar?

"Fans, this is the greatest Nitro in the history of our sport! WCW is the #1 wrestling program on TV! The World title has been around since 1904!"

The nWo themselves use indoctrination, with matching t-shirts (in stylish black with standardized logo) and catchphrases (Seig Heil! is not far off from Too Sweeeeet!) and even a common hand signal for the young 'uns to learn (The clique sign).

If Bill Goldberg ever started getting punked by the nWo on any kind of regular basis, I could write a term paper on this.

Now, I'm not saying that Eric Bischoff is a neo-Nazi or anything stupid like that, I'm saying that he's using some very smart tactics, which happened to be perfected by the Third Reich and are done by lots of people. I just think that if more people at WCW were on the ball, they'd realize just what kind of "family entertainment" they were promoting.

And hey, look at the Austin-McMahon thing. It's the Communist Revolution redux.

Austin represents the trod-upon workers, repressed by the forces of capitalism and forced into a certain mindset, and Vince is the money-grubbing big businesses bourgeiouse elite who are stepping on them. Every time Austin hits McMahon in the nads, he's telling the masses to unite and rage against the machine. Notice how unifying Austin is? Is there anyone in the audience who *doesn't* like the guy? That's because he's a univeral concept: Taking out your jerk of a boss for fun and profit. I daresay that the beer-swilling, foul-mouthed Austin is a better role model than Hogan ever was. Hogan said to do what he said and then did the opposite, while Austin says do what you want and don't take crap from anyone, even if you can't possibly win. That's the kind of spirit that kids should be encouraged with, rather than the artificial "prayers and vitamins" stuff of the 80s. And you know what the best part is? There will be no disappointing ending to this like there was with Hogan. Hogan's act eventually got tired after the first, say, 100 times. With Austin, one rule overrides all: This is wrestling, and the good guy always wins in the end. We know, as wrestling fans, that no matter how big the conspiracy gets and how bad it looks for Steve-o, he will triumph in the end and McMahon will probably lose the entire company in the process.

Why? Because THIS IS WRESTLING. McMahon is playing a Bad Person, and in wrestling, unlike real life, Bad People always get what's coming to them. Ask Shawn Michaels, who acted like a jerk for eight months and got punched out and buried under a 3:16 shirt for his troubles. Vince McMahon cannot possibly win this feud, because he's fighting a force bigger than Hulkamania and Austin-mania combined: The hearts of the fans.

And they always win.