By "Net.cop" Scott Keith

The A&E retrospective on wrestling got me thinking...

Do you remember what Diamond Dallas Page was doing in 1988?

Not much, actually. He was managing the AWA World tag team champions (Pat Tanaka and Paul Diamond), and sometimes gave AWA World champion Curt Hennig a bit of a helping hand to retain his title. Everyone thought that Badd Company would the tag team to lead wrestling into the 21st century.

Seen Paul Diamond lately? Maybe you might have noticed him jobbing to Al Snow recently in ECW. Pat Tanaka? Don't even ask. Their manager? US champion for about 4 months in WCW, TV champion a couple of times, married to an incredibly gorgeous woman and living next to the president of WCW and making a terrific living at the same time.

Point being, life is funny, and most predictions of the mega-stars of the next decade aren't worth the paper they're printed on. So with that in mind, I thought we'd take a look at the big stars of ten years ago, the people everyone thought would be big stars today, and big stars today that ended up coming out of nowhere.

Let's work backwards here, for reasons you'll understand at the end.

Part One: Stars Today Who Nobody Had Heard Of Ten Years Ago.

Ten years is not a particularly long time in wrestling terms, and a wrestler can often toil in the indies for at least that long before catching the Big Break. That's what makes the current crop of big names in the WWF so odd.

Steve Austin started in 1989, Rocky Maivia in 1996, "Roaddog" Jesse Jammes in 1992, Billy Gunn in 1992, and HHH in 1992. None of them were around for the last big batch of "can't miss" prospects, and yet they comprise the championship roll-call of the WWF.

In WCW, much maligned as the "senior circuit" of wrestling, the situation is much the same. Discount Hulk Hogan, the World title is meaningless anyway. Bill Goldberg made his debut in 1997, Fit Finlay in 1992, Chris Jericho in 1991, Kevin Nash in 1990, and Scott Hall is the elder statesman at 1984.

Hulk Hogan and Scott Hall are the only two who were active wrestlers in 1988, and Hogan was the only one with any kind of actual success at that point. For everyone else on this list, the names were simply not known back then, and thus no one could have predicted their success.

Undertaker? Not until 1989. DDP? You'd have to wait until 1991. But he *was* a manager. Kane? Debuted in 1994. The Giant? Not until 1995. You get the point.

And of course, there's the people that *were* around then, but if you told someone that they would be the big stars of today, you'd be considered insane: Shawn Michaels? One half of a JTTS tag team. Bret Hart? Good tag wrestler, no personality. Cactus Jack? Great bumps, no wrestling talent. Sid Vicious? Big, talentless lug who can't draw. Kokina Maximus (Yokozuna)? Looks like a big fat sumo wrestler, moves about as fast. Big Van Vader? You mean the AWA jobber?

The current crop of superstars seems to have literally popped up out of nowhere. That makes it very hard to predict who's going to be on top in 10 years or so. Using the above to extrapolate, here's a quick list of my guesses for the next big group of big names:

Shawn Michaels came from an underrated, high-flying tag team and was basically interchangeable with partner Marty Jannetty. That sounds very similiar to the Headbangers. Thrasher looks more, well, normal than Mosh, so I'll give him the nod as a pick for one of the next stars.

Bret Hart was the obvious talent in a successful championship team, and a first attempt at a singles push failed. Well, that sounds like Billy Gunn to me.

Cactus Jack was an independent-based, suicidal bump machine who got noticed by nearly killing himself on a regular basis, despite a lack of real talent. There's Sabu to a tee.

Sid Vicious was a big guy with no talent and no real drawing ability who was given a good manager and pushed based on his ability to scare the hell out of small children. Kurrgan, superstar of the next century, anyone?

Yokozuna was a generic fat guy who no one took seriously until packaged with the right gimmick. Mark Henry seems to fit that bill right now.

Vader was a two-bit jobber before going to Japan and finding talent and a killer instinct. Glen Jacobs (Kane) seems to be doing this as we speak.

Now, if I were to come from 10 years in the future and tell you the main event of Wrestlemania XXIV was Thrasher v. Billy Gunn for the Unified World title (hey, we can hope) with Kurrgan v. Mark Henry in an anticipated grudge match and rumors of an appearance by Isaac Yankem, you'd think I was nuts. Yet, at the same time, if I went back to 1988 and told you that the main event of Wrestlemania XII would be Shawn Michaels v. Bret Hart for the WWF World title, you'd think I was equally bonkos.

The moral, I guess, is that destiny always finds a way, no matter how bizarre it may look in retrospect.

Part Two: People Who Were Supposed To Be Big.

Now this is an interesting list, I think, because most of these people are wildly successful, and yet almost none of them have lived up to the hype put upon them back in the day.

Ultimate Warrior: This was the one sure-fire, can't miss, "this guy's gotta be a star" pick of the bunch. Never can account for mental instability, but at last count he's two times WWF Intercontinental champion, one-time WWF World champion, he holds a clean win over you-know-who, and he makes more money in failure than most people do in success. And yet it never seemed to click. The WWF title reign was a dismal flop, and was cut short by Sgt. Slaughter of all people. How much of a slap in the face is that? Sure, he drew ratings in 1996 and still has lots of fans today, but really now, everyone KNEW, without being told, that this guy could've represented something more, something special, and he went insane because of it. But hey, there's always that other guy, what's his name...

Sting: Oh yeah, that's it. 7 times World champion! Former US champion, TV champion, tag team champion, you name it, he won it. Back in '88, he's taking Ric Flair to a time-limit draw and there's no limit to his potential, they say. He's basically the #3 or 4 guy in WCW and is just waiting for some of the older guys to retire so he can step forth and rule wrestling. Sound familiar? That's exactly what he's doing today. He's basically the #3 or 4 guy in WCW and he's STILL waiting for the SAME guys to retire, albeit ones transplanted from the WWF. His talent seemingly carried off the Crow and his drawing power written off by a company who mangled his title reigns so thoroughly that no fan in their right mind would pay money to see him defend (The Black Scorpion, for god's sake?). Sting is, I feel, the greatest tragedy of the bunch, because he really was the proverbial Millenium Man and he let his loyalty to a company that has routinely mis-used and taken him for granted ruin his chances at immortality. At least he'll always have that Beach Blast mini-movie to watch in his retirement years while he runs a gym with...

Lex Luger: What the hell happened to him? This was *the* guy in 1988, pegged as the next Hulk Hogan and worldwide superstardom waiting to happen. Turn him heel and the fans scream for his head. Turn him face and the fans scream in adulation. You couldn't lose no matter how badly you fucked it up with him -- all you had to do was turn him again and he's instantly more over than before! Well, two things happened, really: Dusty Rhodes and Ric Flair. Dusty wanted him as champion then, Flair wanted him as champion *after* Flair was no longer around. The resulting tug-of-war left Luger stranded in career limbo until Flair was finally fired in 1991 and Luger was essentially handed the belt. Again, bad management and an ill-advised heel turn (the fans could only take so much, after all) torpedoed his reign from the start, and despite a healthy 7 month run as champion he was stuck with the "choker" label by the fans because he never beat Flair. In 1993, he made an amazing discovery after a motorcycle accident: He no longer had to put forth an effort in the ring because he was now a "marquee" wrestler. It was all downhill from there, which takes us to where he is today: A talentless lunk stuck on the WCW treadmill because he's too over to demote to jobber and can't draw well enough to promote him to main events. Expect to see him at Starrcade, fighting in a WCW v. nWo match against...

Scott Hall: How art the mighty have fallen. Another "next Hulk Hogan" prospect who was known well enough in the late 80s, but was rightly regarded as being a big wuss with no killer instinct. But still, they said, all he needs is a good gimmick and a heel turn and it's championship gold from there. So he recreated himself as the Diamond Studd and then as Razor Ramon and he hit his peak at Royal Rumble 93, challenging for the World title despite having little or no chance. Three things happened from there: A face turn, a drug habit and Kevin Nash, in that order. First of all, the WWF turned him face, which was part of his problem to begin with. Sure, he won 4 Intercontinental titles, but then Jeff Jarrett has 3 so that's no measure of any great use. He was strictly a high-midcarder with good marketing and drawing power. Then he started taking drugs on a regular basis because of his sudden star turn, and quickly lost whatever competitive fire he had possessed around the time of the ladder match that put him "over the top" as a name in the WWF. Then he became best friends with Kevin Nash, and upon moving to WCW with him, where he should have been propelled to the top on name value alone, he found himself standing in the massive shadow of the former Diesel while he got the title shots and Hall was left to invent the catchphrases and point at Nash like an idiot. But such is life with the Clique. Just ask...

Bam Bam Bigelow: How do you screw this one up? Here's a guy who's 350 pounds and tattooed like a demon out of hell, and can do CARTWHEELS! All he needed was a chance to shine, and he should have used his natural charisma to shoot right to the top, right? Well, wrong, as both the WWF and WCW found out on quite a few occasions. Who knows what happened with Bigelow, exactly. Given more hype than Jesus upon his initial entrance to the WWF, he seemed to fold under the pressure and never really lived up to expectations. Bad booking was also a factor, but really the fans became bored with the act a few weeks into the show. A move to WCW almost immediately after that proved the same theory: He was pushed into a US title feud which produced good matches but little or no fan response. He disappeared for a few years, which is the kiss of death in wrestling, before reappearing in the WWF with no fanfare and a bit better response. But a feud with Doink the Clown killed his credibility and frequent run-ins with the Clique, who were basically running the WWF in 1995, forced him out of the federation just when he was almost ready to finally break through. Of course, that was said before about him and it didn't hold true then, either.

You could on and on here, with names like Dan Spivey (retired due to injuries as he watches his ex-partners make millions), Shane Douglas (blacklisted for life from both major feds and a bitter hasbeen-who-never-was as a result), Owen Hart (Ability cut short by a knee injury and eternally waiting for the push that never comes), Chris Benoit (rules the earth but reduced to two, 24-hour, unacknowledged TV title reigns as a reward for two years of hard work) and Brian Pillman (suffered multiple injuries and finally death). These were the guys who were supposed to step up and lead wrestling into the next millenium when the older guys retired. But the older guys absolutely refused to go away...

Part Three: People Who Should Have Retired In 1992 But Still Run Wrestling Today.

You know the suspects. What's interesting is that most of them didn't hit the bulk of their success until *after* their so-called prime years. To wit...

Hulk Hogan: I'm sure we all knew he'd still be around 10 years later, but who would have thought that he'd go on to win *another* 8 World titles after losing his first in 1988? To put in perspective, Hogan has a total of 9 World titles. Harley Race has a mere 7 and Lou Thesz, perhaps the greatest pure wrestler ever, has 6. Race's count of 7 was a number thought impossible to reach back in 1988. The question is: Why won't Hogan go away? Sadly, the answer is that people keep paying him. As well, he has suffered almost no injuries in his career, a baffling thought when one considers that Steve Austin has only been a pro for 9 years and is already on the verge of being crippled. Hogan remains in peak wrestling conditon (despite having no talent) and is still one of the better interviews in the sport. Which means that we'll probably be seeing him until he's 60, or his plane blows up, whichever comes first.

Ric Flair: In 1988, Ric Flair was a 5-time World champion, and the bookers of WCW were already pushing for him to be phased out and replaced with either Lex Luger or Sting. 10 years later, he is a 13-time World champion, and it's only recently that he was finally (if anything is ever final with Flair) phased out of the World title picture, seemingly for good. The man is a like a cockroach mated with the Energizer bunny...you can step on him as hard as you like, but he keeps coming back, banging that drum. The rule seems to be that as long as WCW is run by idiots who piss away their funds and put the wrong people on top and need someone to pick up the pieces after, Ric Flair will survive. Bet on seeing him win his 22nd World title sometime around 2004.

Randy Savage: From underappreciated Hogan-whipping-boy in the WWF, to, well, underappreciated Hogan-whipping-boy in WCW. And yet he's managed to carve out his own little niche for himself, winning 5 World titles along the way and becoming a household name in the process. Written off in 1993 and stuck behind the broadcast table, he signed with WCW in 1994 and was instantly pushed back near the top again, amazing just about everyone. Through sheer talent and force of willpower, he's managed to stay on top by buddying up to the right people (Hogan) and consistently drawing even though hampered by the shadow of Hulkamania. It's scary to think of what he could have been had Hogan not been in the WWF. Age and treachery will overcome youth and skill every time, they say, and it's no truer than in Savage's case.

Roddy Piper: Greed is wonderful, isn't it? Witness the hellraiser of the 80s as he becomes a corporate movie-star role model for WCW who can no longer wrestle or even interview properly, but is a big name. It depresses me the most about Piper, because he's long into the period where he should be doing special appearances with Lou Albano and the Fabulous Moolah at charity benefits. There's no magic explanation for Piper's continued presense, I'm afraid, it's just money and Hogan's friendship again.

So what's the lesson in all this?

Well, like the Beatles said, "Tomorrow Never Knows." Bill Goldberg could slip on a bar of soap in the shower and you'd never hear from him again. Sick Boy-mania could suddenly run wild over America. Flair and Hogan might still be fighting in 2008, I wouldn't bet against it. Of course, it'd be a little hard for Macho Man to promote Slim Jims when he's wearing dentures, but it's TV, I'm sure they'll find a way to fake it.

Now, where's that copy of Wrestlemania III...