By "Net.cop" Scott Keith

You know, being a net.guru can be tough sometimes.

As you probably know if you know who I am, I do reviews for just about every wrestling show out there.

And still I get mail asking what I thought a given show that I *didn't* review in one of my Retro Rants.

So here it is -- the definitive Netcop Guide to Every PPV, Ever.

We'll do this as organized as possible -- by federation, year by year. This week will be the WWF, next week is NWA/WCW.

WWF:

1985.

The first PPV ever was the WWF's Wrestling Classic, held in 1985. Not actively bad, not a "Classic" by any means either, but an interesting cross-section of wrestling at the time. You have to remember that match quality considerations weren't really taken into account until the early 90s with the proliferation of the internet. Which is a nice way of saying there was nothing over **, but it was all in good fun. :) Recommended.

Wrestlemania I was also held in '85, but it was closed circuit and is exempt on a technicality. Not recommended, though.

1986.

Wrestlemania 2 was also closed circuit and is not counted, although it's a very bad card wrestling wise and a very important one storyline-wise. Mildly recommended.

1987.

Wrestlemania III was the first real foray into what PPV could do for the WWF, and it set the standards for "supercards" before and after. Historically, it may be the most significant wrestling show of it's era. Big stuff, folks. Highest recommendations.

Survivor Series made it's debut in '87 as well. Wrestling wise there wasn't much going on -- the tag team(s) match was very good after a certain point, but the rest was pretty crappy and nothing really contributed to the long-run. Still, a fun show for it's time. Recommended.

1988.

Wrestlemania IV is generally regarded as the first "bad" Wrestlemania, featuring four *very* long hours of the WWF World title tournament. Very dull to sit through and featuring some very lacklustre wrestling. However, time has been kind to this show, as it proved to be the start of the MegaPowers angle and the launch of the Demolition Era, two of the most historically significant happenings of the 80s. Mildly recommended.

Summerslam debuted in 1988 as the WWF realized the PPV revenue cash cow. Again, the wrestling was poor->fair at best, but Ultimate Warrior's utter destruction of the Honky Tonk Man proved to be another one of those history-making moments that keep the show fresh in the minds of viewers. Recommended.

Survivor Series 88 was a forgettable show, and while not really a bad show, was the first sign that sometimes less is more. Mild recommendation to avoid.

1989.

The Royal Rumble debuted on pay-per-view in 89, and it was not a good show by any means. The Rumble match itself was awkwardly contested as wrestlers were still learning the flow of it, and the undercard had some of the biggest dogs in recent memory (Haku v. Harley Race anyone?). Recommendation to avoid.

Wrestlemania V was poorly reviewed at the time, but sported the highest buyrate ever and actually had a **** match in Hogan v. Savage, the blowoff for the MegaPowers angle. Still one of my favorite cards, too, for some bizarre reason. Recommended.

Summerslam 89 featured Hogan and Brutus Beefcake against Randy Savage and actor Zeus. Not much to remember about it, but Rick Rude v. Ultimate Warrior has been called one of the best matches for either man, so it's not a total write-off. Mild recommendation to avoid.

Survivor Series 89 was pretty much a wash, just put on for the sake of putting something on. Strong recommendation to avoid.

1990.

The Royal Rumble itself was extremely good in 1990 and featured the beginnings of the Hogan-Warrior feud that would culminate at Wrestlemania VI. Not much else there, though. Mild recommendation to avoid.

Wrestlemania itself featured said match, which is still talked about today, so it gets the thumbs up right there. Plus, it's in Canada! Can't lose with that! Recommended.

Summerslam 90 is another fondly remembered card, with a **** match between the Hart Foundation and Demolition and good effort all around. A classic card. Highly recommended.

Survivor Series 90 wasn't actively good or bad, but was an attempt to change things up by having a "survivors" match at the end of the night. Not a bad idea. Oh, yeah, and that Undertaker guy debuted, too, during a good Bret Hart-Ted Dibiase team match. Recommended.

1991.

Royal Rumble 91 featured the Rumble itself, always a good bet, plus a superlative Rockers v. Orient Express match, which makes it pretty much an automatic thumbs up. Mildly recommended.

Wrestlemania VII is looked down upon mainly because of the Gulf War angle which soured it for many people, although Hogan v. Slaughter was a decent match and Warrior v. Savage was ****, so it's not bad enough to avoid, but don't go out of your way to get it. Mildly recommended.

Summerslam 91 was a solid effort from top to bottom, with a ****1/4 affair between Bret Hart and Curt Hennig, a match that has gained legendary proportions, given the downturn in the skills of both men recently. Highly recommended.

Survivor Series 91 may have been crap wrestling, but Ric Flair made his WWF PPV debut and Undertaker beat Hulk Hogan for the WWF World title, so it's spoken of with glowing words by most wrestling fans. Mildly recommended.

This Tuesday In Texas was a poorly reviewed, cheap attempt to cash in on the PPV market, but as a wrestling show it holds up well, with a **** match between Jake Roberts and Randy Savage. Mild recommendation to avoid.

1992.

Ric Flair won an amazing Rumble to capture the WWF World title in 92. This show is beloved by many, many people. and is remebered as one of the best, ever. Highly recommended.

Wrestlemania VIII featured the return of the Ultimate Warrior and two ****+ matches, and is remembered as one of the best, ever. Highly recommended.

Summerslam 92 came from Wembley Stadium and featured two ****+ matches and is remembered as one of the best, ever. Highly recommended.

Survivor Series 92 featured the first Michaels-Hart World title match and not much else, but the main event was ****1/2 so it can't be all bad. Mild recommendation to avoid everything but the main event.

1993.

The Royal Rumble was the first sign that things weren't going so great anymore. Yokozuna won the actual Rumble, which featured interference from Giant Gonzalez, and there wasn't much else to recommend the card. Still, not actively bad, just bland. Recommendation to avoid.

Wrestlemania IX, on the other hand, was terrible. Bad wrestling, a literal circus atmosphere, the infamous 30 second title reign for Yokozuna, the list goes on. STRONGEST RECOMMENDATION TO NEVER, EVER WATCH IF HUMANLY POSSIBLE!

King of the Ring made it's debut in 1993, sporting a Bret-Perfect rematch which again hovered around ****, thus keeping it off the shit list. Boring show, however. Strong recommendation to avoid.

Summerslam 93 was disappointing (a **1/2 Hennig-Michaels match? Ugh.) but was entertaining enough to not be terrible. Mild recommendation.

Survivor Series 93 was a disjointed mess, with the Doink match, Jerry Lawler's legal problems, and the Foreign Fanatics. A definite recommendation to avoid at all costs.

1994.

Royal Rumble 1994 featured the Luger-Hart tie in the Rumble match, and Undertaker levitating to the ceiling after being shoved in a casket by 10 guys. Strong recommendation to avoid.

Wrestlemania X featured a ***** match between Bret and Owen Hart and the awesome-beyond-all-superlatives ladder match between Shawn Michaels and Razor Ramon. Strong recommendation to rob your grandmother for the money to rent this one.

King of the Ring 94 featured Owen Hart going over amidst the WWF's legal problems and depleted roster, with a main event of Jerry Lawler v. Roddy Piper. Strong recommendation to avoid.

Summerslam 94 was a study in contrasts. One half of the main event was a ***** cage match between the Hart Brothers, and the other half was Undertaker v. Undertaker. Recommended, but stop after the cage match.

Survivor Series 94 had Bob Backlund winning the WWF title from Bret Hart, and not much else. Mild recommendation to avoid.

1995.

Royal Rumble 95 was the emergence of Shawn Michaels as a World title contender and was a relatively strong card, albeit a forgettable one (60 second intervals? Puh-lease.) Neutral feelings on this one.

Wrestlemania XI was disappointing, but had a **** Michaels-Diesel blowoff match. Very mildly recommended.

In Your House debuted next, with a terrible Sid-Diesel main event. Recommendation to avoid.

The less said about King of the Ring 95, the better. NEVER, EVER, WATCH THIS TAPE! I'm serious, just try and keep your dinner down with King Mabel celebrating at the end...

In Your House II was a much better effort, with a ***** match between Shawn Michaels and Jeff Jarrett that showed just how talented Shawn was and how good Jeff could be. Recommended.

Summerslam 95 was a mixed bag of JTTS and mid-carders that never really went anywhere. Diesel v. Mabel? Right...still, a **** ladder rematch between Shawn and Razor makes for a mild recommendation.

In Your House III was the ultimate screwjob, with a "guaranteed" title change never happening as Shawn and Diesel failed to win the WWF tag titles on a technicality. Of note: The only time you'll see a clique member (Ramon) job to Shane Douglas. Neutral feelings on this one.

In Your House IV was a pathetic mess. Diesel v. Bulldog as the main event and the infamous Shawn -> Shane forfeit. Strong recommendation to avoid.

Survivor Series 95 was more interesting, but not much better wrestling wise. Diesel's title reign is mercifully ended by Bret Hart and the debut of...Goldust. Neutral feelings on this one.

In Your House V was much better, with a bloody Bret v. Bulldog main event and a solid effort from most everyone. Strong recommendation.

1996.

Royal Rumble 96 kicked off the year with Shawn winning again and Bret's lame-duck title reign continuing, with the Diesel storyline overshadowing everything else. Mild recommendation to avoid.

In Your House VI featured Bret v. Diesel in a cage match with a screwy ending, but an awesome Shawn v. Owen Hart match that saved the show. Recommended.

Wrestlemania XII featured Shawn v. Bret in the Ironman match, the one that started the real-life feud and was around ***** to boot. The Ultimate Warrior made his return here. Recommended for the main event alone.

In Your House VII: Good Friends, Better Enemies was a weak show in the undercard with a kick-ass brawl between Shawn and Diesel to mark the exit of both Kevin Nash and Scott Hall from the WWF. Mildly recommended.

In Your House VIII: Beware of Dog was the "power outage" show, and the less said the better. Strong recommendation to avoid.

King of the Ring 96 featured the debut of Austin 3:16, the first Undertaker-Mankind match and a good match between Shawn and the Bulldog for the WWF title. Mild recommendation.

In Your House IX: International Incident was a fairly solid but wholly unremarkable card topped by Shawn & friends against Vader & friends with Vader cleanly pinning Shawn to set up Summerslam. Neutral feelings on this one.

Summerslam 96 had a six-hour (!) pre-game show and a lacklusture card, which featured the boiler room match where Paul Bearer turned on the Undertaker and Shawn v. Vader for the WWF title in a **** affair. Mild recommendation.

In Your House X: Mind Games was the Philly show that started the "ECW Invasion" and satiated the fans with a Mankind-Shawn Michaels brawl for the WWF title that hovered around ****1/4. Strongly recommended.

In Your House XI: Buried Alive was not so good. Sid v. Vader and Mankind v. Undertaker yet again, in a burial match this time, made for a less-than-enthralling experience. Mild recommendation to avoid.

Survivor Series 96 was pretty bad all around, with Sid going over Shawn for the WWF title and Rocky Maivia fighting off roughly 154 people to win his match. Recommendation to avoid.

In Your House XII: It's Time was a throwaway show with Sid going over Bret Hart to retain the WWF title. Not much else of note. Recommendation to avoid.

1997.

Royal Rumble kicked off the year with Steve Austin's mega-storyline beginning as he won the Royal Rumble but was screwed out of it the next night. Shawn regains the WWF title from Sid in front of 60,000 people. Mild recommendation for Stone Cold's performance.

In Your House XIII: Final Four furthers the Austin storyline as Bret Hart wins an excellent four-way dance to win the WWF title, eliminating Stone Cold on the way. Also includes a good Furnas-Lafon v. Hart Foundation match. Recommended.

Wrestlemania XIII was junk, with an unbelievable Austin-Hart brawl that turns Austin face and Hart heel simultaneously. It's the only highlight of a terrible show. Mild recommendation to avoid.

In Your House XIV: Revenge of the Taker was another throwaway show, with Mankind facing Undertaker for his newly won WWF title and the Austin storyline furthered by another match with Bret that hovers around ****. The rest is forgettable. Recommendation to avoid.

In Your House XV: Cold Day In Hell gives Austin his first chance at the WWF title, as the Hart Foundation causes him a loss to the Undertaker. An okay show. Mild recommendation.

King of the Ring 97 further built the Austin legend as he faces WWF Tag team championship partner Shawn Michaels in a **** match, but the rest is trash. Recommendation to avoid.

In Your House XVI: Canadian Stampede was a terrific card all around, featuring the return of the Hart Foundation to Calgary and one of the hottest crowds, ever. Strongly recommended.

Summerslam 97 featured Bret Hart winning a fifth WWF title from the Undertaker and Owen Hart accidentally adding another page to the Book of Stone Cold by nearly paralyzing him after a botched piledriver. A must-see show for that bit of history alone. Recommended.

Ground Zero was a throwaway card with Bret Hart defending the WWF title against the Patriot, but the show is stolen by Shawn Michaels' brawl with the Undertaker. Recommended.

One Night Only is the UK (and Canada) only PPV where Shawn beats Bulldog on his own turf to win the European title. Great stuff up and down this one, highly recommended.

Badd Blood featured the legendary Hell in the Cell match between Shawn and the Undertaker. Not much else, but who cares? Highly recommended.

Survivor Series 97 had horrible wrestling, but there *was* that Bret-Shawn title match with the funny ending. A must-see for any wrestling fan for the sheer history lesson.

DeGeneration-X was a total throwaway show, put on for the sake of having something on. Ken Shamrock v. Shawn Michaels? Maybe next year. Recommendation to avoid.

1998.

Royal Rumble 98 was a solid effort with Austin winning the Rumble again, setting up his long-awaited title match. This is regarded as the turnaround show for the WWF in the ratings war with WCW. Recommended.

No Way Out (of Texas) was a good enough show featuring D-X against Steve Austin's team in an 8-man brawl, but nothing else really captured my imagination. Mild recommendation to avoid.

Wrestlemania XIV was a phenomenally entertaining show, with the Austin storyline wrapping up as he captures his first World title. Mike Tyson was there, too. Highest recommendation.

Finally, Unforgiven was another throwaway show built entirely around the Austin v. McMahon angle and a gimmicky Kane-Undertaker match. Not bad, not good. Neutral feelings on this one.

***

And there you have it. Full rants for a few of these shows are avaiable at http://www.planet.eon.net/~skeith/rant.html, which is my usual homepage. Next week, the history of the NWA/WCW on PPV!